Nordic House
by MajesticalNarwhal
Summary: Five college guys from each Nordic country rent out a room in a house for a full school year. What kind of shenanigans will Mathias, Berwald, Lukas, Tino, and Emil get themselves into? Ensemble fic, with many cameos from canon characters. Human!AU. DenSu, NorxFem!Can, ArmFin, Fem!HongxIce, and others.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

From the outside, it was an ordinary house. Two stories high, no less than sixty years old, and faced with slowly crumbling brick. It stood on a block with many similar houses nearby the local college campus of DeLouis University. Of course, it wasn't the house itself that people found interesting; it was the five guys living in it.

The first people to rent rooms in the house were Mathias Køhler, a 21-year-old journalism major, and Lukas Bondevik, a 20-year-old environmental studies major. The last house they stayed in got knocked down, so they were looking for another place to stay for the upcoming school year when they came upon this house. Because of its less than desirable condition, none of the rooms in the house had been rented out yet.

"Mat, this place is piece of shit," Lukas whispered to his childhood friend while they were looking around the house.

"I know, but it's a piece of shit we can afford," Mathias replied with a grin. Lukas couldn't argue with that logic.

Naturally, as college students, they were short on cash. This turned out to be a huge deal breaker with them when they looked at different places. Another deal breaker was if there was only one room available. They'd been friends for so long that they were practically attached at the hip. They'd been this way since Lukas was in 6th grade and Mathias was in 7th. Mathias was the first friend Lukas had made since moving from Norway, even though he had sort of forced his presence on the younger boy at first. Lukas never said it out loud, but he appreciated Mathias' company, especially since his English wasn't very good at the time. Mathias' parents had come from Denmark, so he vaguely knew Danish which was similar enough to Norwegian that he could sort of understand Lukas when he spoke his native language.

Mathias and Lukas didn't have the house to themselves for long, though. The next guy to rent a room was Berwald Oxenstierna, a 21-year-old computer science major. Berwald and Mathias had dormed together their freshman year and quite frankly, they couldn't stand each other. Their relationship got better with time and at this point they could almost call each other friends. Almost.

The next day, Berwald asked Mathias and Lukas if they were okay with letting his ex-boyfriend who he was still kinda friends with rent a room.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," Lukas warned, "Maybe instead of asking us whether or not we care, you should be asking yourself if you're truly comfortable with living with your ex."

"It should be fine, we're friends now," Berwald replied. He had a distinct accent, despite the fact that he'd moved to America from Sweden seven years prior. That, coupled with the fact that his voice was deep and he had a tendency to mumble, made him slightly difficult to understand when he spoke.

"If you say so. You're free to make your own mistakes; I don't care one way or the other, but don't say I didn't warn you."

The ex-boyfriend in question was Tino Väinämöinen, a 19-year-old music history major. He and Berwald dated in high school, when Tino was a freshman and Berwald was a junior, a year after Tino had moved from Finland. They dated for a little over a year and a half before breaking up messily two months before Berwald left for college. The break up affected both of them and almost four years later they still held slight grudges towards the other. They've tried to maintain a friendship since then, but their relationship was strained.

As Tino was moving in, Lukas got a phone call from his aunt insisting that he find his cousin a place to stay as they were conveniently going to the same school. He had no choice but to agree because he was afraid that if he didn't, she would tear him a new asshole. His cousin was coming in from Iceland specifically for school and his hysterical aunt didn't want him to dorm because she didn't trust anyone going to the school except for Lukas. Lukas thought that she didn't trust her son to take care of himself, but he never told her that out of politeness.

About a week later, Emil Bondevik, an 18-year-old psychology major, moved in and subsequently filled the last room. The guys pretty much had to the house to themselves, except for the attic where their eccentric German landlord, Gilbert Beilschmidt, lived.

He was old enough to be any of the guys' grandfather, but tried to act like he was in his 20's (which didn't always work and kinda came off as creepy). He was aware of his age though, having said on several occasions "I was alive back when the awesome country of Prussia existed", leading to a lot of confused looks and a certain Danish-American boy attempting to ask "where the hell is Prussia?" before getting stopped by his best friend's hand over his mouth.

Gilbert trusted the guys for the most part, his only ground rules being 'don't break anything' and 'don't burn the house down'. Once all the papers were signed, he stayed out of their way. Berwald had then taken it upon himself to add some more house rules, being that everyone was responsible for himself, that everyone was entitled to their privacy in their own rooms (he stared at Mathias intently when saying this, knowing from experience that he didn't do privacy well), and that for the love of Odin to keep the goddamn bathroom somewhat clean.

Considering that most of the houses on the block rented out rooms to commuters, the kids started naming their houses. Notable examples were: the Palace of Awesome (which housed narcissists), Where Dreams Go to Die (which housed pessimists), 420 (which housed potheads), and the Fem Shrine (which housed girls who may or may not be lesbians). Almost immediately, the five guys thought of the perfect name for their house, a name that would capture the uniqueness of its inhabitants and define their cultures.

The Nordic House.

Let the insanity begin.

**A/N: Welcome to the Nordic House! Things are only gonna get crazier from here on out. I'm splitting the chapters into months, starting with August which I will probably put up tomorrow if I'm not incredibly lazy. After that, you're gonna have to wait for the next chapter, which may take a while depending on how busy (or lazy) I am.**

**As you can tell, this is going to be an ensemble fic with lots of characters and, you guessed it, lots of pairings. The main four pairings are: DenSu, NorxFem!Can, ArmFin, and Fem!HongxIce. Other pairings that pop up are: Fem!USxUK, AusHun, CanUkr, LietBel, RusxFem!Prus, GiriTurk, and NethxFem!Spa. There might be more, but I can't think of them off the top of my head. **

**I warn you now that my interpretation of the characters may seem a bit strange for those used to canon, but I figure I have some leeway considering that this is a human!AU. I had to modify the guys' characters a little bit so they would act like college students as opposed to countries. Speaking of which, DeLouis University doesn't exist, last time I checked. If it does, please tell me so I can make up another ridiculous name for a university (because no American university that I know of would be quite as diverse as a Hetalia university XD).**

**That's all for right now. I hope you like what I have so far, even though it isn't much right now. Hopefully you'll stick around to watch the shenanigans these five get into go down. I'm a little nervous putting this up, since it's my first serious(ish) fanfic, but I looked over it quite a few times and I think it'll go over well. See you next time for August!**

**-Christy**


	2. August

**A/N: Hey guys, I'm back with the first real chapter of Nordic House! I'm so happy with the positive reception the prologue got (I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that people are following my story). Hopefully the positivity continues! Now without further ado, here's August.**

* * *

**August**

"Yo Lukas, are you quite done doing your hair yet? I need the shower," Mathias complained, banging on the bathroom door. Lukas resisted the urge to bang his head against the nearest wall and flung open the door when Mathias was in mid-knock.

"For the love of whatever imaginary deity you believe in, would it kill you to have some patience?" Lukas asked indignantly. Being an atheist, he couldn't bring himself to say 'God', regardless of whether or not he was actually talking about God or just using his name in a common figure of speech.

"It would, actually," Mathias replied pseudo-sarcastically, "Do you have no consideration for my well being?" Lukas facepalmed at his friend's attempt to gain sympathy.

"It's not my fault I can't just wake up and have my hair be fucking perfect like yours. It's not my fault that I actually give a shit about my appearance, unlike some people I know."

"Y'see, this is why people think you're gay. And my hair is pretty awesome, thanks for noticing." Mathias ran his fingers through his somehow gravity-defying hair.

Lukas ignored Mathias' narcissism. "Except for the one person to whom it matters, Maddie." Maddie, or rather Madeline, Williams was Lukas' girlfriend since March. She was an environmental studies major like him and was arguably the most adorable person on the planet (in his somewhat biased opinion).

"I still don't know how she was able to see past your metrosexual vanity to see a heterosexual male. Her gaydar must be impeccable." Lukas glared at Mathias, who still had his trademark shit-eating grin on his face. He often found himself wondering why he still bothered being friends with the Dane, but after so many years he couldn't remember what his life was like pre-Mathias. There was something about Mathias that drew him in, despite how irritating Lukas found him. The kid was an enigma, that was for sure.

"Fuck you, Mat," Lukas muttered, shoving himself past his friend. Mathias, being used to Lukas' consistent insults, shrugged and headed into the bathroom. In the kitchen, Emil stood by an open window with a cigarette between his fingers. He turned when he heard footsteps and saw Lukas heading toward the counter to pour himself yet another cup of coffee.

"Are you sure you should be drinking so much of that stuff? That's your third cup this morning. All that caffeine can't be good for you," Emil said worriedly in Norwegian.

"Says the guy who is currently smoking," Lukas replied in the same language, staring at his cousin's cigarette. Lukas hated smoking with a passion, regarding cigarettes as 'cancer sticks'. And it wasn't just nicotine either; he hated all kinds of smoking, finding it dangerous and unnecessary. "Besides, as far as addictions go, it could be much worse."

"I'm thinking about quitting. Cigs are too fucking expensive in this country and I'm too young to buy them myself anyway."

"My theory is that the government jacks the price of the cigarette tax so much that it becomes too expensive to smoke and people are forced to quit because of that. Clearly it's working, thank the universe."

Emil took one last drag on his cigarette and put it out in his makeshift ashtray, which was actually a small plate. "Do you mind giving me a ride? I don't feel like spending the money to take the bus. Besides, aren't you all for carpooling and that shit?"

"Not a problem, but I also gotta pick up my girlfriend. She lives about a block away and doesn't have a car, so I'm always her ride. Not that I mind or anything." Lukas smiled thinking about seeing his adorable Canadian for the first time in two months.

"Whatever. I just don't wanna be late for my first day of classes." Emil slung his bag over his shoulder and headed towards the door as Lukas fished his keys out of his pocket. '_Fuck, this is only the first day_' Lukas thought bitterly, '_How the crap am I gonna handle nine more months of this?'_

* * *

About a block and a half away from campus was a quaint little coffee shop. It wasn't Starbuck's by any means, but there were no shortage of customers due to its location. Many of the employees were also college kids, including Mathias. He'd been working there since freshman year and was known as somewhat of a veteran employee. Because of this he found himself in charge of training the newest hire, a wide-eyed freshman. Mathias didn't entirely mind, the kid was nice enough. And hot. Extraordinarily hot, even by Mathias' ridiculously high standards. What did the kid say he was again, Arabic? No, he knew that wasn't it. Argentinean? No, he wasn't Hispanic. Armenian? That was it, Armenian. It had come up because Mathias couldn't pronounce his last name.

The kid's name was Andranik Garabedian, but he preferred to be called Alex. It's not so much that he disliked his name (even though he did, to an extent) it was just that he felt uncomfortable with people outside of his family, especially Americans, to call him by his legal first name. He'd been insisting that people call him Alex since he was five, shortly after his family moved to America from Armenia. Despite having been too young to remember his birth country well, he was fluent in Armenian because his parents never let him forget it.

Mathias was in the middle of teaching Alex how to use one of the many coffee machines when in walked the most beautiful man Alex had ever seen in his short life. He appeared to be the same height as Alex, with translucent pale skin, a strong (if a bit on the thin side) stature, and short almost platinum blonde hair. What really intrigued the freshman though were the other boy's eyes. They were a light blue, but they almost looked violet and shone so brightly that it was nearly impossible for one not to get captivated by them.

"Oh hey Tino!" Mathias exclaimed upon seeing his housemate. His voice shook Alex out of his apparent trance. He looked at his co-worker with a raised eyebrow. How convenient it was that Mathias _knew_ the man that Alex now found himself attracted to.

"Mat, I didn't know you worked here," Tino replied. '_Dear God, even his voice his beautiful_' Alex thought.

"Yup, been workin' at the ol' Javalava since freshman year. Now I'm passing on my wisdom to Alex here so he can become the next great barista like me." Tino's attention turned to the man whose shoulder Mathias had his hand on and he swore he felt his heart skip a beat. Mathias' co-worker was absolutely stunning! He was tan, had wavy so-dark-brown-it-almost-looks-black hair, deep chocolate eyes and a decent build from what Tino could tell (which was difficult, considering that the Javalava uniform wasn't very flattering).

Alex could barely feel Mathias' hand on his shoulder when he noticed that Tino was staring at him. Their eyes locked for a good thirty seconds before they both realized they were staring at the other and turned away awkwardly. Mathias just looked on during all of this and felt like he had witnessed a private moment. He fake-coughed loudly to get their attention and plastered a smile on his face.

"So anyway, now that you're here Tino, this seems like the perfect opportunity to lead Alex through the steps of serving a customer. You have a couple minutes, right?" Mathias said as enthusiastically as possible.

Tino nodded and waited patiently as Mathias guided Alex on what to do step-by-step. It took agonizingly long to fill a simple order since Alex wasn't used to the register, Tino had paid with a five so Alex had to count change, and Mathias had forgotten to tell Alex that one of the coffee machines were broken, so he had made a mess of Tino's order and had to start over. Once that ordeal was over, Alex watched Tino leave, staring at the door long after he was gone.

"Earth to Alex," Mathias said, waving a hand in front of his co-worker's face.

"Oh! Uh…sorry," Alex apologized hastily, "So um, how do you know Tino?"

"He's my housemate, we both rent rooms in the same house with three other guys. Now before you get the wrong idea, it's not frat-like at all. We're all far too awkward for that. Except for me, but I'm not a frat kinda guy, believe it or not. And it's not super gay either, even though Tino's ex-boyfriend lives with us. Why do you ask?"

"No reason, just curious."

"Uh-huh, sure. From where I was standing you seemed pretty interested in Tino. But seriously, him? Tino, of all people? Are your standards really that low?"

"What are you talking about? That angel of a man walks in here and you say my standards are _low_? How high are your standards then?"

"You've got to be kidding me. Alex, you sound like a thirteen year old girl right now. And honestly, Tino's not that hot. Go to a couple parties here and you'll see."

"I'd like to see your definition of hot. Random question Mat, but are you gay?"

"Not entirely. Let's just say that I don't choose my partners, sexual or romantic, based on their genitals. Whether they see themselves as a boy, a girl, or a fucking alien, it doesn't matter to me. If they fit my criteria, I'll bang them, simple as that."

"So you're pansexual?" Mathias nodded. "Huh, that's interesting. I've never been interested in girls a day in my life. Yeah, I'm that gay."

"Believe me, I've noticed. I don't think you'd stare at every customer like that. If you did, that'd be kinda creepy. Anyway, we should probably get back to work before the late-afternoon rush comes." With that, Mathias went back to training Alex like nothing had happened. Alex was listening, but in the back of his mind he was hoping beyond hope that he would see that beautiful blonde again soon.

It was official; Alex had a crush on Tino.

* * *

It was an ordinary Wednesday when Emil walked into the classroom for the obligatory math class he was forced to take in order to graduate. He had decided to get his bullshit classes out of the way freshman year so he could focus on his major in the next three years. He chose a seat next to an Asian girl with shoulder-length brown hair and a pair of headphones in her ears. He then noticed the band T-shirt she was wearing. It wasn't a popular band; in fact Emil didn't know anyone else who had heard of them.

"Excuse me?" He asked, tapping the girl on the shoulder. She pulled out a headphone and looked at him, "Do my eyes deceive me or is that a Babies and Jets T-shirt?"

The girl's dark brown eyes widened and a smile grew on her face, "Oh my God, you know Babies and Jets? You're the first person I've met that actually knows who they are!"

"Yeah, I like them a lot. I assume you're into indie music then?"

"I am. Babies and Jets is my favorite band, but I also like Everyone's Envy, The World is Mine, Bleeding Feels, stuff like that."

"You, miss, have great taste in music. What's your name?"

"Emma Wang, you?"

"Emil Bondevik. Say, you wanna-" He had gotten cut off by the professor arriving and starting the lesson. Emil and Emma talked whenever they could during the class and when it was over, they traded numbers. As he walked out of the classroom, he couldn't help but smile.

He had just made his first friend in America.

* * *

Lukas and Maddie had a lot in common. They were both juniors, they both loved animals, they were both vegans, they both despised PDA; the list goes on and on. The biggest thing they had in common was that they both had obnoxious best friends who liked to barge in on them. They were in the room Maddie shared with her friend (they, like the Nordics, rented out a room in a nearby house) doing homework as they shared many of their classes together, when the door swung open violently.

"Hey Mad, I just wanted to tell ya that Artie's gonna be comin' round here in 'bout an hour," Amelia Jones, Maddie's best friend, announced loudly, "Oh, hey Lukas." She acknowledged the Norwegian.

Amelia was the stereotypical All-American Girl, with shoulder-length blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and a heavy Texan accent. When she was feeling particularly Southern, she would sometimes break out her full cowgirl get up, which usually consisted of daisy dukes, cowboy boots and hat, and an American flag top. That day she had just settled for the shorts and the boots.

"Would it kill you to knock before barging in the room, please?" Maddie asked.

"Why, this is both our room, is it not? It doesn't make no sense to knock if it's my room too, ya know."

"I know, but you never know when I'm gonna have a guest over or something and it's polite to knock when you're coming in so you don't surprise me like you do now."

"Maddie, you and I both know that the only guest you ever have over, and ever will have over, is Lukas here and I'd like to think that we're well acquainted enough that he's used to me by now. Besides, are you really that surprised? Remind me again how long we've been friends."

Maddie and Amelia have been friends since they were about six years old. Their parents have been friends since college and often met up with each other from time to time. Some years Maddie's family would go to America and other years Amelia's family would go to Canada. That, along with the invention of the internet and texting, had made the two closer and closer by the year. It was a long distance friendship until they learned they were going to the same college and decided to live together.

"Touché. So why did you wait until now to tell me that Arthur is coming over?" Arthur Kirkland was Amelia's boyfriend for the past year. Maddie had no idea how Amelia even got along with the stuffy Brit, let alone dated him. They were polar opposites, as far as she was concerned.

"I told ya now, didn't I? And it's not like I showed up with him or anythin'."

"And I appreciate that, but do you mind sending me a text next time? In return I'll text you when I have Lukas over. Is that fair?"

The Texan sighed. "Alright, _mom._" Maddie rolled her eyes and Lukas struggled to hold in a laugh. He found it funny that Maddie's interactions with Amelia were scarily similar to the interactions he had with Mathias.

The three of them continued to converse until five minutes before Arthur was expected to show up. As Maddie and Lukas walked into the living room, Lukas slung an arm around his girlfriend's shoulder and pulled her in close. It was times like these when the two allowed themselves to show affection towards each other in an adorable way, when they knew no one was looking.

"I'm sorry for Amelia, she can be kinda rude sometimes," Maddie quietly apologized. Lukas turned so he was facing her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Don't worry sweetheart, I'm used to people barging into a room unannounced, thanks to that idiot I call my best friend," Lukas replied. After a few seconds of comfortable silence, he spoke up again. "Our friends are very…eccentric."

"Yeah, they are. I wonder what would happen if Mat and Amelia ever met."

"I'm sure they'd get along, which is kind of a scary thought."

"They're both so…loud. If they ever got into an argument, you'd probably be able to hear it from Mexico."

"Further than that, you'd be able to hear it from Chile. Southern Chile."

"For the sake of the poor Southern Americans, maybe it'd be better if they didn't meet."

"More like for the sake of everyone's sanity." They both laughed and then got silent again. They didn't need to talk; they were just content being in each other's company. After a while, the doorbell rang and interrupted their quiet moment.

"Looks like Eyebrows is here," Maddie sighed. Eyebrows was the nickname Maddie had given Amelia's boyfriend, but she only called him it behind his back. This was because he had the biggest pair of eyebrows Maddie had ever seen on a human being.

"I guess that's my cue to leave, huh?" Maddie nodded and opened the door for Arthur. He walked in without noticing Maddie and acknowledging Lukas with a small nod. Once making sure the Brit was upstairs, Lukas walked over to Maddie and planted a sweet, closed-mouth kiss on her lips. "_Jeg elsker deg_," he whispered.

"_Je t'aime,_" Maddie whispered back, pulling Lukas into another kiss. They broke apart and Lukas rested his forehead on Maddie's.

Lukas and Maddie had a lot in common. Neither of them wanted to leave the other.

* * *

A piece of paper with the Norwegian flag on it fell to the floor as Mathias flung open the door to Lukas' bedroom. Berwald had gotten the idea of putting the flags of each person's respective nation on their doors to indicate whose room was whose. It seemed foolproof until Mathias pointed out that it was a bit inaccurate to put the flag of Denmark on his door as he was the only one of them who was born in America. Luckily, Lukas had seen that coming, so he stuck an American flag next to the Danish one on Mathias' door.

"Lukas, I'm ordering pizza, you want any?" Mathias blurted out. Lukas looked up from his textbook and just stared at him.

"First of all, do you know how to knock, or is that too difficult for you. And second, no I don't want pizza. I'm a vegan, remember?" Lukas deadpanned.

"First of all, knocking is silly since these walls aren't exactly soundproof, so I'd know if you were doing anything suspicious in there. Unless you're a quiet masturbator, then I don't know what to say. Second, I wasn't gonna get pepperoni or anything."

Lukas chose to ignore the first comment, "Last time I checked, cheese is made out of milk, which comes from cows, which are animals. This makes cheese an animal product, ergo I don't eat it. Even a moron like you should be able to understand that."

"Oh right, I forgot you didn't eat dairy. You don't know what you're missing out on, bro. So what are you gonna have for dinner then?"

"I dunno, probably salad with some tofu and nuts. Why, do you care?"

"Just makin' sure you don't starve to death. And by the way, that sounds kinda nasty."

"I didn't ask for your input, Mat."

"Don't care. Thanks for telling me though, now I only have to order for four people instead of five." Just before Mathias left, he turned back to Lukas and said, "Your flag fell down again, bro. You should probably get some duct tape for that shit." He didn't wait for a response before leaving the room.

"It wouldn't keep falling down if you didn't barge into my room all the time. Fuckin' dumbass," Lukas shouted after him.

Twenty minutes after Mathias had ordered the pizza; it had arrived and permeated the house with its distinctive scent. The five guys all gathered around the kitchen table, which led to everyone asking Lukas why he wasn't having pizza and him having to remind everyone for the hundredth time that he was a vegan because, according to Lukas, no one listens in this house, dammit.

"So how long have you been vegan?" Tino asked, looking genuinely interested.

"A while now. I became vegetarian in sophomore year of high school, I believe, and became vegan senior year," Lukas replied, happy that the Finn didn't think it was weird, unlike a certain best friend he had.

"Is it hard, not eating meat or dairy?"

"It's a difficult adjustment to make at first, and it's a pain in the ass when you go over someone's house or go to a restaurant, but you get used to it. I honestly think I would get sick if I tried eating meat and dairy after all these years."

"Do you ever miss eating that stuff?"

"Nope, not in the slightest. I wasn't much of a meat eater to begin with, so giving up meat didn't bother me. And there are vegan versions of almost any dairy product out there, so I have no reason to miss dairy. It's been so long though, I don't think I can even _imagine _having meat in my mouth anymore."

At that comment, the entire table went silent for about five seconds before Tino erupted into uncontrollable laughter. Everyone else at the table started laughing as well and Lukas' face turned red once he realized what he said. "I am such an idiot," he muttered to himself.

"Lighten up Luke; penis jokes will never not be funny!" Mathias said, trying to cheer Lukas up. His attempt failed miserably as Lukas just glared at him. "Geez, when did you become such a prude?"

"I'm not a prude, it's just…" Lukas turned away from Mathias, his face turning bright red, "I don't think that _penis jokes_ make for appropriate dinner conversation."

"Appropriate or not, it was still hilarious," Tino added.

"It was funny," Berwald interjected, "Immature, but funny."

"Normally I wouldn't laugh at such crudeness, but I found your word choice, and the fact that you didn't realize the double entendre until you said it, very amusing," Emil said with a shrug.

"Y'see Lukas, no one here cares if you make a dirty joke, just as long as it's funny!" Mat replied.

"I wouldn't call that a joke, it was more of a Freudian slip," Berwald cut in.

"What? A Freudian slip would imply that I was thinking about fellatio, which I wasn't because for the last time _I am not gay_," Lukas retorted.

"You keep telling yourself that, Luke. You just keep telling yourself that," Mathias said. Lukas didn't dignify that with a response, he just faceplamed loudly.

"Could you be any more immature, Mat?" Berwald asked.

"Y'know Ber, you can stop being a condescending asshole at any time," Mathias snapped.

"I'm not being condescending, you're just being a jerk. At least give Lukas the benefit of the doubt."

"Maybe you should, oh I don't know, mind your own fucking business? Besides, I've been making Lukas-is-secretly-gay jokes since middle school and he knows not to take me too seriously. Because in the end, that's all it is, a joke."

"Well excuse me for giving a shit about people's happiness in this house."

"If you really cared about our happiness you'd stop treating us like we're fucking children! Last time I checked, we're all adults here."

"Not my fault you all act like children. Just grow up."

"Fuck you Ber," Mathias snarled, his voice dripping with malice. The entire house went silent except for the noises of dishes crashing in the sink, loud footsteps on the stairs, and a door slamming.

"So…when did the rest of us start acting like children?" Tino asked.

"None of you are as bad as Mat, but you all have your moments," Berwald replied, unable to look his ex-boyfriend in the eye.

"Ber, do you realize how hypocritical you're being, or are you too busy calling the kettle black to realize that you're the pot?" Berwald went silent. "You know, Mat has a point. You've been kind of a jerk lately," Tino said with disdain before leaving the table himself.

Emil gave Lukas a knowing look, "Hey Lukas, I'm having some _trouble_ with my _math homework_. Do you think you can help me?"

"Of course, anything for my favorite cousin," Lukas answered. The two left the kitchen, leaving Berwald by himself.

The Swede just put his head in his hands and sighed. He had the good of the house in mind, but it blew up in his face. Berwald knew he wasn't the greatest at social interactions, but he never thought of himself as condescending or hypocritical. He expected Mathias to get pissy at him since that's just how Mathias was, but he didn't expect everyone else to agree. He was legitimately starting to question if he could make it through the rest of the school year without going completely psycho.

Just nine more months.

* * *

**A/N: I feel like I have to explain a few things real quick:**

**-Alex is Armenia for this story. I don't plan on using him outside of this story, though. He's also a huge schmoop (which is my word for someone who's disgustingly romantic/cheesy).**

**-As I'm sure you've already noticed, I decided not to make Lukas an emotionless douchebag in this story. Sure he may seem that way when he picks on Mathias (and in canon), but deep down in the darkest corners of his heart he's a sweetheart. The only person who can get that out of him is Maddie, which is why he acts differently around her than he does the guys.**

**-This should be self-explanatory, but Babies and Jets, Everyone's Envy, The World is Mine and Bleeding Feels aren't actual bands. Indie bands are known for having ridiculous names, so I chose some of the weirdest band names I could think of and used them here.**

**-Headcanon dictates that Berwald is an awkward turtle, which is the reason he usually doesn't speak. Let's just say his foot ends up in his mouth a lot. Keep in mind that despite how old he acts, he's still only 21 and sometimes he actually *gasp* acts his age (or in the case of the last scene, younger).**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that you're okay with waiting a little longer for the next one. Hopefully it'll be up in a week, but I make no promises. I'm kind of a bad procrastinator; it's so bad that if procrastination was an Olympic sport, I'd win gold for Amurrica! Ahem, so keep sending your support, it fills me with happiness and glee, and I'll see you guys next time for September!**

**-Christy**


	3. September

**A/N: What did I tell you guys, about a week right? Hopefully I can keep up the pace and have October out soon!**

* * *

**September**

Tino was sure he was going crazy. Well, more crazy than usual. He had only met the freshman at Javalava once for about twenty minutes, but he couldn't get the boy out of his mind. He would go to Javalava every few days, peeking through the window to see if he was there, ultimately getting disappointed. Would it be weird to ask Mat about him? Would he get the wrong idea? Or was it the right idea? How could the face of one boy get to Tino like this?

He had stopped by Javalava for the third time that week, but this time he saw Alex behind the counter. He had to mentally remind himself to breathe before stepping into the familiar coffee shop. Alex looked up and saw the boy he'd wanted to see for a little more than a week. '_That blonde angel_', he thought.

"Oh hey! Alex, is it?" Tino said as he got to the counter, "Fancy seeing you here, and without Mat, I notice." He mentally facepalmed himself. '_Fancy seeing you here? Could I get any dorkier? _' Tino thought.

"Yeah, I'm by myself for the time being, but it's kinda slow around here so I understand why," Alex replied, "Actually, my shift ends in five minutes. You wanna hang out afterwards?"

"Sure, I'd love to!" Tino enthused, "But for the meantime, maybe you could fix me a drink?" Alex chuckled and Tino gave him his order. For the rest of Alex's shift, Tino sat a nearby table, sipping his coffee and staring at Alex. He realized that staring at someone without blinking may seem stalkerish, but he justified it by reminding himself that he'd essentially been stalking Javalava looking for Alex in the first place, making what he was doing seem less creepy in comparison. And come on, who _wouldn't_ stare at Alex?

When the employees taking over the freshman's shift arrived, he went over to Tino and sat directly in front of him. He allowed himself to stare at the blonde, having to resist that urge while he was technically still working. And was it just him or did Tino get cuter since the last time they met?

"So they let you be by yourself?" Tino asked, finding the nerve to strike up a conversation, "They must really trust you."

"Not really, I wasn't actually supposed to be by myself, but all my co-workers from the previous shift all had to leave early. Thank God they ditched me when it was empty in here, if it was busy I would've freaked the hell out," Alex replied.

"Wow that sucks. Are you at least getting more comfortable here?"

"Yeah, it's easier now that I know how everything works. I still haven't memorized how to make everything on the menu, but I'm getting close. So anyway, do you go to school around here?"

"I go to DeLouis University, just around the corner from here. What about you?"

"Holy crap, I go to DeLouis too!" Alex exclaimed. So not only could he see Tino at Javalava but he had the chance, a slim one but still, of seeing him on campus as well.

"Really? Small world, huh?"

"I know, right? What year are you in and what's your major?"

"I'm a music history major and this is my sophomore year."

"Cool. I'm in pre-med and a freshman. I wouldn't have guessed you were a sophomore though."

"Yeah, I get that a lot. I do kinda look young for my age."

"No, no, that's not what I was gonna say! I thought you would've been older, like a junior maybe. It made me wonder why you wanted to hang out with a little freshman like me."

"You are honestly the first person to think I'm older than I am. Most people think I'm still in high school based on my appearance. I don't mind too much, but it does get a little irritating when I'm dealing with someone who just doesn't believe that I'm nineteen and in college."

"It may be awkward now, but you'll be the envy of everybody when you're forty and look like you're in your late twenties."

"Everyone tells me that, though mostly my older relatives. I always respond with 'yeah, and I'll get carded at bars until I'm forty'. That shuts them up." This made Alex laugh, which in turn made Tino laugh. Alex would always be attractive, but Tino found him ten times more attractive when he laughed. His laugh was warm and melodic and the way his eyes shined was just mesmerizing and… Tino lost his train of thought, realizing that for a whole minute he'd been staring at Alex who was staring at Tino staring at him.

Alex eventually broke the not-so-awkward silence with a question, "Y'know, I've been meaning to ask you something. I notice you have a bit of an accent and I can't figure out what accent it is. So where's it from?"

"You actually notice my accent? At this point I thought it was more or less gone."

"Yeah, I'm actually really good at spotting accents. Like scarily good."

"Obviously, considering I haven't been asked that question since junior year of high school. To answer your question, you're hearing what remains of my Finnish accent."

"Seriously? Oh that is so cool! So this means you're from Finland, right?"

"Born and raised. My family moved to Chicago when I was thirteen and we've been here ever since."

"Man, I'm so jealous of you. You actually remember your birth country. I was born in Armenia but I don't remember it at all. My family moved here when I was about five."

"Well maybe you'll get to see it someday. Do you at least have family there or…?"

"I do, but I don't know who they are. My parents wanted to take me and my younger siblings to see Armenia, but we've never had a lot of money when I was growing up so we never got the chance to go. In fact, the only reason why I'm able to go to university at all is because I applied for so many scholarships. It's a good thing I've always gotten high grades. Anyway, maybe after I finish med school and get a good job I'll go visit my birth country, but that's a long way off."

"I hope you do go one day, I think it'd be a good experience for you. After I graduate, I want to go back to Finland, by myself this time. Every time I've gone with my parents since we moved was for awkward family reunions where I'd have to put up with my relatives, who are nice but don't know me at all, having asinine small talk all night and being forced to speak Swedish to a _certain_ annoying aunt, even though I swore I wouldn't speak it again after…" Tino cut himself off. It wouldn't be a good idea to open that particular can of worms just yet, not when he and Alex just met, "Never mind, it's a long story."

'_After Berwald and I broke up_' is what Tino would've said had he allowed himself to finish his sentence. All throughout high school they would speak to each other in Swedish, particularly if they didn't want anyone to overhear considering that they were the only two people in the school who could speak the language. It was their 'secret' way of communicating, it belonged to them. Despite how many endearments they said to each other in Swedish, their biggest arguments were also in Swedish. After the break-up, Tino swore never to speak the language again; it brought up too many bad memories for him. He couldn't bring himself to hate the language itself (if anything, he found Swedish to be a prettier language than Finnish); it wasn't its fault that Tino associated it with his relationship with Berwald. He just wanted to put the past behind him and remove everything from his life that reminded him of their relationship, which happened to include the Swedish language.

Meanwhile, Alex knew none of this and found Tino's self-interruption odd, but he didn't want to press the issue. He figured Tino would tell him in due time. He had stayed silent for a while because he didn't know how to respond. Luckily he didn't have to stay quiet for much longer as Tino decided to change the subject.

"So pre-med, huh? You must be pretty smart then," Tino broke the silence.

"I guess, like I said I've always been good in school. I think I'm more determined and stubborn than I am smart. Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be an ER surgeon and nothing will stop me from becoming one. Not lack of money, not hard course work, not multiple late nights and all-nighters studying, not the knowledge that I will be spending the next six to ten years of my life in school, nothing."

"I admire your tenacity, Alex. God knows I couldn't do that, I'd kill myself. The upside to your major is that you'll actually get a job with your degree one day. Me, I have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to do with a music history degree. My parents think I'm crazy for choosing the major I did, but everyone at high school said to major in something you love and the job will come later. I love music history more than anything else and I love my classes, but I still worry about the future."

"You'll figure it out; you seem like a smart guy. And besides, I think it's normal for us college students to worry about our futures. I'd be worried if someone didn't."

"Thanks, but I don't feel so smart. I've still got two years to figure it out though, so it's not like I need to makes any immediate decisions. I…" Tino got interrupted by his phone buzzing. When he looked at the phone to see who texted him (it _had_ to be Berwald. Clearly God was in a bad mood and taking it out on Tino), he noticed the time. It was ten minutes before his next class and he didn't have a car, meaning he had to walk. He then realized that he'd spent nearly an hour with Alex, though it felt like five minutes. He could get used to that.

"Shit Alex, I have a class in ten minutes so I have to go. Maybe we can trade numbers and get lunch sometime at school?" Tino said hurriedly.

"That sounds great, though I have to warn you I have very limited minutes and texts. I have to pay for my phone myself, after all," Alex replied, pulling his phone out of his pocket. The two gave each other their numbers and said their goodbyes before Tino ran out the door. He knew that there was a 99% chance that he would spend most, if not all, of his time in his next class thinking about the cute Armenian boy he just conversed with. And he didn't mind. At all.

* * *

By the second week of September, Berwald had started to consider himself the king of bad-ideas-with-good-intentions. As the guys settled into their school and work schedules (at this point all five of them had jobs, with Mathias at Javalava, Lukas at a nearby pet store that always seemed to smell like cat piss, Tino at a department store that played so much shitty muzak that it almost drove him to the point of insanity, Emil at an indie music store after jumping through so many hoops to even get the job considering he wasn't an American citizen, and Berwald somehow finding himself at an Apple store, despite the fact that he found Apple pretentious and overpriced) they started to get a sense of what days they were going to be in the house and what days they weren't. A trend that Berwald seemed to notice before the other four was that Thursdays tended to be less busy than any other day of the week for all of them. And with that, an idea was born.

"You want to do what?" Mathias asked.

"Were you listening Mat? I'm really not asking for much, just once a month on a Thursday the five of us stay home and spend some time with each other. We don't really know each other that well and I think we should. I'd like to get to know those of you that aren't Tino better," Berwald replied.

"Thanks for throwing me under the bus there, Ber. Real nice," Tino retorted.

Berwald pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's only because I've known you the longest, and you know it."

"That's all well and good Ber, but are you sure you want to know some of us better? Especially Mat?" Lukas asked.

"I realized freshman year that I judged Mat wrong and even though I've made it up to him and we're friends now, I still don't know him as well as I could," Berwald said, to which Mathias raised an eyebrow. _'This is news to me_,' he thought, '_what happened to hating my guts?_'

"So does this count as our Thursday for September or what? I mean, we're all here," Tino added.

"You're jumping the gun a little there; we haven't all agreed on this…arrangement yet," Lukas replied, "Emil hasn't said a word since we sat down."

"I have nothing to say, so I don't speak. Some of you would do well to follow this line of thinking," Emil said, looking in Mathias' direction for the second sentence, "as for Berwald's idea, I guess it would be amusing to see what antics you four get yourselves into."

"So now does this count as our Thursday for September?" Tino asked with a laugh.

"I guess so," Berwald confirmed, "Anyone got any ideas?"

The room went silent for a few moments before Mathias spoke up, "I've got one. We should do a few rounds of Two Truths, One Lie. But to make it more exciting, I propose a bit of a change." He went over to the kitchen and returned with a six pack of beer in each hand, "Make it a drinking game!"

Lukas facepalmed, "Only you Mat, only you."

"Anyway, here's how it would work. One person tells two truths and a lie, like usual, and the other four have to guess which one is the lie. The catch is, if you guess wrong you have to take a drink. And not a sissy drink either, I mean a large gulp, considering that it's beer. Normally I'd use liquor for this kind of thing, but I don't have any and I just went on a beer-and-Hot Pockets run, so beer it is," Mathias explained.

"Mat, can I talk to you for a bit, alone?" Berwald asked. Mathias nodded and was led to the kitchen out of earshot of the other three. "Listen, I don't want to be a killjoy or anything, but I just have to warn you that… let's just say that Tino and alcohol don't get along very well. I've seen him get drunk a few times when we were in high school and it's not pretty. He actually threatened to hurt me one time, but his coordination was way off and he couldn't get near me. He gets really irrational and angry and I don't know how you guys are going to handle seeing him like that. In no way am I trying to dissuade you from doing the drinking game, I'm just asking you to watch out for him."

"So what the hell am I supposed to do, cut him off when he starts acting weird? If he's as hostile as you say he is when he's drunk, I don't think he'll like that too much. And I can't very well tell him not to play because then I'll look like a jackass. From the looks of it, he seems like a lightweight, so by the time he's drank too much, it'll be too late."

"I don't expect you to do anything, I'm just warning you so you aren't surprised by his actions. I'll deal with him if he gets out of hand."

"Well thanks for telling me, I guess. Oh, and I wanted to ask you something. You said you wanted to get to know me better but… I thought you didn't like me."

"Is this because of that fight back in August? First of all, I thought we'd moved past that, since it was petty and ridiculous. Second, I never said I didn't like you, I just called you an immature brat. Which, in retrospect, was immature of me, but we all make mistakes. I apologize for overreacting."

"Yeah, I may have been a bit of a jerk myself, but it's whatever. I guess we're more similar than we initially thought, huh?"

"I guess."

Berwald and Mathias headed back to the living room with the other guys and started up the drinking game.

"I'll go first," Mathias announced, "Let's see… I was fluent in Danish for the first ten years of my life, I once had to break into my own house because I locked myself out, and I was born with two different sized feet." Everyone guessed that the third face was a lie, except for Lukas who guessed the second. "Lukas is right, the second one was a lie! It was actually his house we got locked out of and Lukas did the breaking in."

"So you have two different sized feet?" Tino asked.

"Yep, I'm a size 11 on my left foot and size 13 on my right. It makes buying shoes a pain in the ass, so I hardly ever do it."

"Which explains why he'll wear the same pair of shoes until they break," Lukas added, "I remember one time the sole came right off one of his sneakers in gym class several years ago."

"And I still wouldn't buy new shoes, so I repaired the old ones with duct tape, which worked for about a week," Mathias replied, "Anyway, you three should drink now." With that, Berwald and Emil took a swig of their beers, while Tino just had a sip of his. Mathias was going to say something about it, but he remembered what Berwald told him and he kept his mouth shut.

As the game went on and the guys got significantly drunker, Tino forgot about his self-imposed restrictions and started chugging more than even Mathias did when he guessed wrong. Berwald was starting to get a little dizzy, Lukas got a horrendous headache and Emil was half-asleep on the table. Only Mathias seemed to be doing fine, only feeling a little buzz. It wasn't from lack of drinking, it was just that he had built up a bit of a tolerance to alcohol over the years.

"Ah, fucking hell! Why is the fucking table getting further and further away?" Tino asked, heavily slurring his words. The fact that his Finnish accent only came out when he was drunk did not help any.

"The table's not getting further away from you, you're pushing yourself away from the table," Berwald replied, "And you're drunk."

"Don't tell me how I feel, Ber! God, you're always like this, always up in my business. You haven't changed a bit since high school. Still a stick in the mud like always."

"Tino please, calm down…"

"No, you can't tell me what to do. You're not my fucking mom. Actually, you're worse than my mom. I fucking hate you!"

Berwald grabbed his ex by the arm and whispered harshly in Swedish, "I don't really care. Feel free to hate me all you want, just as long as you don't hurt yourself or anybody else. I will not have this end like last time, do you hear me? Please, just let me take you upstairs so you can get some sleep."

Tino hissed back in the same language, "God dammit Ber, do you think I can't fucking take care of myself? Or are you trying to prove yourself to be strong and manly by taking care of poor little Tino? Please, I can see right through you. You always do this, make me feel so small just so you can seem better in comparison."

"You're embarrassing yourself, so let's go and get you to bed." Berwald dragged Tino to the stairs, then turned back to the other three and said in English, "I apologize for this, Tino doesn't know his limits. You can all go to bed if you like."

Lukas woke up Emil, who sluggishly stood up and headed to his room, clinging to his cousin so he didn't fall down. Mathias just shook his head and knocked back the rest of his second beer. Clearly, the other four weren't cut out for drinking games. What a shame.

* * *

Six months. Lukas could hardly believe that he and Maddie had already been dating for almost six months. He knew he wanted to do something special for her, but not something too terribly cliché.

"Mat, I need to call your sister," Lukas said, standing in the doorway of Mathias' room.

"If I didn't know you any better, I'd say that sounded creepy as fuck. Why exactly do you need to call Emily anyway?"

"I need her to translate something for me. She takes French, right?"

"She does. But why don't you call her yourself? I'm pretty sure you have her number."

"The other day my phone charger decided to die on me and my phone just lost power. I ordered a new charger, but it won't be here for a few days. Can I borrow your phone or not?"

"Hand on a sec, I'll call her." Mathias called up his sister and listened for her to pick up. Emily was a senior in high school back in Mathias' hometown outside of Los Angeles. She looked nearly identical to him, except with longer hair and boobs. Despite the fact that most older brother-little sister duos don't get along, Mathias and Emily have been the best of friends since they were kids. The biggest difference between the two was the fact that Emily as a lot more interested in learning, especially history and international politics. She also frequently spoke Danish, whereas Mathias didn't, and had a lot more interest in their parents' birth country.

After a few rings, Emily picked up, "Hej bror, whattya want? And make it quick because I'm in the middle of something."

"Middle of something, eh?" Mathias replied.

"Homework, Mat. Stop being such a pervert."

"Oh, right. Anyway, Lukas needs to talk to you. His phone died, so he has to go through me. Apparently he needs something translated into French."

"Oh, put him on the phone now! I don't wanna talk to you anymore, dumbbutt."

"Love you too, Emily." Mathias passed the phone to Lukas.

"Lukas! Oh my God, I haven't talked to you in five-ever, how are you?" Emily exclaimed.

Lukas raised an eyebrow. "Five-ever?" He asked.

"It's like forever, but more. Anyway, Mat tells me you're in need of my assistance."

"Yeah, my six month anniversary with Maddie has come up and…"

"Oh my flying God!" Emily interrupted, squealing. Lukas, knowing Emily's habits well, pulled the phone away from his ear. "Six months already, how cute! How is Maddie, by the way?"

"She's fine, but anyway, I want to say a little something to her to tell her what she means to me. The thing is, I want to tell her in French."

"Okay seriously Lukas, that is the most adorkable thing I have ever heard, like ever! Ugh, the cute, I can't even handle it."

"So that means you'll help me?"

"Um, duh!"

"Thank you so much for this, Emily. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"Not a problem, bro. You can start saying your speech now, line by line."

"How did you know it was… never mind. So it starts, 'Dear Maddie…'"

Lukas continued saying his speech in English and Emily not only translated the words, she also told Lukas how to pronounce them and how to spell them out phonetically.

A few days later, on the actual day of Lukas and Maddie's six month anniversary, the two of them were sitting on a bench on campus, outside of the building in which they met.

Luka had spent hours going over the French version of his speech, saying the same sentence over and over again until it sounded halfway decent, then move on to the next. He was 99.9% sure he was still pronouncing everything wrong, but he hoped that his pronunciation was good enough for Maddie to at least understand what he was saying.

"Maddie, I… have something to say to you," Lukas said. He looked her in the eye and took her hands in his. He took a deep breath and started to speak in French, "Dear Maddie, these last six months that I have spent with you by my side have been the best six months in my life so far. I want to continue to have the best months, and even years, of my life with you. I can't remember the last time I have been this happy. You are the sweetest girl I think I have ever met and you being so cute is a nice bonus. I am madly in love with you Madeline Williams, and I will love you for the rest of my life."

A huge smile broke out on Maddie's face and she felt like she would start crying at any second. Lukas' words were so sweet and she was touched by the fact that he put in the effort to learn those words in French. Sure, he may not have said everything perfectly, but that didn't matter. The sentiment was still there.

"Lukas, baby!" Maddie exclaimed, pulling Lukas into a hug. "Oh my God, that was so, so sweet. You are seriously the best boyfriend ever. I love you so much baby! I can't believe you learned French for me."

"Well technically I only learned how to say what I already told you, but I'd do anything for you sweetheart."

"That is so nice. And considering that you probably just learned the French, you pronunciation wasn't half bad. Not to mention that your accent makes it adorable. Where did you learn the words from anyway?"

"Mat's sister Emily takes French in high school. I just called her and she helped me with both the translation and the pronunciation."

"That's convenient." Maddie chuckled.

"I know, I would've been screwed otherwise. Mat and I took German in high school. Not like that really matters though, I don't think either of us remember anything we learned."

"Aw, that's disappointing. You could've been trilingual."

"Emily already is. Unlike Mat, she actually speaks Danish as well as English and French which you already knew. Emil's trilingual as well, speaking English, Icelandic, and Norwegian. Much as I think it would be cool to be able to speak a third language, I just don't have the patience for that kind of thing."

"True, it is much harder to learn a language when you're an adult. For me, learning English and French was easy but I'm trying to learn Italian and I'm having such a difficult time with it. It's ironic since the languages I'm fluent in are technically harder than Italian, but because I wasn't raised speaking the language, it seems harder to me."

"That's exactly how I felt taking German. It didn't matter that Norwegian could kick German's ass any day of the week in terms of difficulty, German was always weird to me. And the whole 'capitalize the first letter of every noun' thing kinda threw me off."

They continued to talk leisurely like that until the sun started to set. They may not have done much, but to them it was the perfect day. Even if Lukas did butcher the French language. A bit.

* * *

If Emil thought that meeting Emma's siblings and friends would be a calm, pleasant affair, he would be wrong. Emma had already warned him that her older brother was a bit uptight and that one of their friends was a bit… eccentric, but Emil quickly learned that those claims were understatements.

"You guys, I'd like you to meet my new friend Emil," Emma said to a small group of people, all of Asian decent, "And get this, he's from Iceland. Emil, this is Yao, my older brother, Kya, my twin sister, Yong Soo, but we just call him Jake, and Kiku."

"Iceland, huh?" Jake asked, "So do ya live on a glacier or something?"

Yao hit him in the arm, "mind your manners, Jake."

"Uh no, you're probably thinking of Greenland. Don't worry, I get that a lot. We don't have glaciers, but we have active volcanoes," Emil replied, mentally facepalming.

Kiku shook his head, "I completely understand how you feel, Emil. I come from Japan and people make a lot of false assumptions about my country as well. For some strange reason, everyone thinks I'm into tentacle porn and stuff like that, when really it's just a kink some people have." He had a slight accent clinging to his words, speaking in a way that most people would refer to as 'Engrish'.

"Yeah, but you have Harajuku which more than makes up for it," Jake pointed out.

"That's another stereotype we get. Harajuku is an underground culture from the town of the same name."

"Well ya know what, our stereotypes are cooler than yours. I have never met so many people who are into K-pop outside of South Korea than in this country. Just look at how quickly Gangnam Style became a thing. Best thing to come out of my country since kimchi. Oppa Gangnam Style!" Jake stood up and started doing the dance to the song in question. "Ayy, sexy lay-day, oh oh oh oh oh, oppa Gangnam Style!"

Emma leaned over and whispered to Emil, "He does this a lot, mostly to piss Yao off. No one can get him to shut up, no matter how hard we try."

"Please try to be respectful Jake, we have a guest over," Yao reprimanded. Jake didn't stop, if anything he sung louder and deliberately to Yao. Kiku started snapping pictures and chuckled slightly to himself.

"See what I mean?" Emma rolled her eyes, "So how are you, Kya?"

"Oh same ol', same ol'. I almost threw a plate at someone's head today at work," Kya replied cheerfully.

"You really need to get a better handle on your temper before you hurt someone…again."

"Hey, I never said I actually threw the plate at them, I just thought about it!"

"What's going on?" Emil asked, feeling more and more confused by the second.

"We always called Kya a swan. You know how swans are really pretty, but when you near them, you see that they're really mean little bastards? That's how Kya is. She's normally very sweet, but get on her bad side and you're done. She can and will fuck you up, big time." Emma explained.

"That was one time Emma, and you know it!"

"Only one time that you physically injured someone, yes, but you've gone off on people many times, hurting them only using your words."

"If it makes you feel any better, I've started to swear almost exclusively in Mandarin so that no one will understand that I'm swearing."

"Get off of me Jake or so help me God I will end you," Yao shouted, interrupting the conversation between the twins. Jake was hugging Yao as tight as he could to himself while Yao was struggling to escape the Korean's grasp.

"But you're so grumpy all the time, I thought you would benefit from some hug therapy!" Jake replied.

"I don't need your stupid hug therapy, now let go. And Kiku, if you even think about putting those pictures online I will throw your camera out of the window, do you hear me?"

"Believe it or not, but this is a daily occurrence," Emma explained to Emil.

"How odd, it's just like being home. Jake is just as loud and obnoxious as Mathias, Yao is as stiff as Berwald, Kiku pretends not to care but is secretly amused just like Lukas, and Kya is cute but scary like Tino. And then there's you and me who don't fit into this madness at all."

Emma nodded. "You can say that again."

Emil had a feeling he would.

* * *

"…And then she said that _I_ was the annoying one. I mean, how hypocritical can you get?" Alex said as he and Tino walked up to the porch of the Nordic House. He had boldly asked Tino if he wanted to go on a date a few days prior when Tino was getting coffee (which was as bold as Alex's request). They were returning from said date, which was a nice chance for them to chat in a place that didn't smell like coffee.

"Really? How could anybody find you annoying?" Tino asked, "Alex, you're not annoying, you're…" '_How do I say this without sounding awkward?_' He thought. "Nice. And funny. And I… kinda sorta like you."

Tino's confession caught Alex off-guard, but it wasn't completely unwelcome. He had just been planning on confessing to Tino first. "Thank you Tino, I kinda sorta like you too."

"Seriously?" Tino was grateful for the fact that it was dark out so that Alex couldn't see his face turning bright red. Of course, if Tino had been paying attention, he would've seen that Alex's face was the same shade as his.

"Of course. You're fun to hang out with and really sweet too. And the fact that you're so cute is a nice bonus." Tino was shocked, when was the last time someone said he was cute in _that_ way? '_Not since Ber… no, not tonight._'

"So what does this mean for now? Are we…?"

"If you want. I don't know about you, but…" Alex took a deep breath to steady himself, then leaned in and softly pressed his lips against Tino's. "I could get used to this."

Tino just smiled as pulled Alex in for another kiss, this one lasting significantly longer than the last one. "Me too."

Meanwhile, Berwald was sitting in the front room with a mug of tea, looking out the window at Tino and Alex. It was a bit odd to see Tino with somebody other than him, considering that he was off at college when Tino had presumably started dating again. He couldn't remember the last time Tino had looked so happy. Had he ever made Tino that happy?

"Ber, were you spying on me?" Tino asked, startling Berwald out of his thoughts.

"No, couldn't sleep," Berwald replied. "You seem happy."

"You would be too if you went on a date with a cute Armenian boy who told you he liked you and kissed you."

"You kissed back."

"Of course I did. I told him I liked him too. If I didn't know any better Ber, I'd say you were jealous of me."

"Jealous? Don't be ridiculous, Tino."

"Good. I was worried you'd be all weird about this."

"Absolutely not."

"Okay so… I'm off to bed. Good night Ber."

"Good night Tino." Tino started walking away and when he had reached the foot of the stairs, Berwald spoke up. "It's good to see you happy again."

So, Tino had a boyfriend now. He had moved on. Berwald wished it was that easy for him.

* * *

**A/N: Wow, long chapter is long. The others might be as long as this, depending on how many ideas I have per month. A few notes:**

**-When Mathias said he was only fluent in Danish for the first ten years of his life, he meant that those were the only years that he spoke the language. Obviously with his parents and sister speaking the language he never really forgot it, he just doesn't speak it (except for the swear words). To him, fluency=ability to speak a language, which isn't entirely accurate, but Mathias isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.**

**-I originally created Emily as sort of a comic relief character, but she insisted on being a fully developed character and she shows up later. And just in case it wasn't totally obvious, she loves Tumblr. A lot.**

**-Lukas is a closet schmoop. He is adamant in making sure Mathias never finds out.**

**-I forgot to mention last chapter that Emma is Fem!Hong Kong. Whoops, my bad *I suck*. Kya is Taiwan, and don't ask me why I made them twins because I don't know. It just kinda works yesno? **

**-Jake gave himself his "American name" because he felt like it would be weird for his American classmates to call him Yong Soo all the time. And for the Gangnam Style part, I've seen the lyrics as both "oppa Gangnam style" and "oppan Gangnam style" and I don't know which one is technically correct, so I went with what I heard, which is oppa. (Headcanon is also telling me that he knows many of the dances to popular K-pop songs, even the girly ones. And his theme song is "I Am The Best" by 2NE1. Because of reasons) **

**-What is it with me and ending chapters with Berwald being an awkward turtle? And when he said he wasn't jealous, he wasn't telling the entire truth. He's not jealous of Alex for having Tino, he fell out of love with him years ago, he's jealous of Tino for being happier than him. But of course that will change in a few months :D**

**Thanks for all the continued love and support. I love all of you, even those of you creepers who read but don't review/favorite/whatever because I'm normally that guy. See you for October, hopefully soon!**

**-Christy**


	4. October

**A/N: Long chapter is long. This one's a little angsty as well. Enjoy!**

* * *

**October**

"Are you sure this is safe?" Kya asked.

"I'm an expert dude, I do this all the time!" Jake replied.

"This isn't about you, dumbass. This is about Emil," Emma retorted.

"I won't let him or my dear old Fireball get hurt."

"Fireball? You named it Fireball?" Kya exclaimed, "Well it's better than what you named your-"

"Not in front of Emil!" Emma interrupted, slapping Kya on the arm.

"Excuse me, I'm right here," Emil said.

The group of them were standing on the driveway of the Wang residence next to a sleek red and orange motorcycle. Emil was wearing a large helmet and a nervous expression. Jake had just taken him for a ride around the block and had offered to teach Emil how to drive it. Emil had wanted to drive a motorcycle for his whole life, but now that the opportunity was presented to him, he had started to think that maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all.

"It's one thing for you take Emil with you when you drove the bike, considering that you have your license and contrary to common belief you're not a complete dumbass. But to let someone who has never even sat on a motorcycle until today drive your motorcycle, that you have to pay for if he breaks it, is just straight up ludicrous!" Emma explained.

"Like the rapper?" Jake asked excitedly.

"Shut up Jake, I'm trying to be serious! You are so lucky that Yao isn't here or he'd have your fucking head."

"Your brother needs to get the stick out of his ass and live a little."

"That's not even the point. God you're such an idiot. Ho do you know you can trust Emil not to ruin your bike?"

"I'll be running alongside him the entire time. And I'm sure he knows that if anything happens to my dear old Fireball, I'll kill him."

"You're acting like you're teaching him how to ride a two-wheeler on the sidewalk! This is way more serious, and dangerous, than that. This is a fucking motorcycle Jake, in every human vs. motorcycle match, the motorcycle always wins."

"You think I don't know that? I-"

"Would you two just shut the fuck up already?" Kya shouted, "Is Emil going to ride your stupid motorcycle or not?"

"Yes, please hurry up. My video camera's going to run out of battery," Kiku added. He had been standing there silently the whole time, getting the conversation on tape.

"Holy shit Kiku, would you stop being such a voyeur? It's really fucking creepy," Emma snapped, reaching the end of her patience.

"Uh guys, I'm still here y'know," Emil pointed out.

"Ah of course, get on the bike bro, and let's get this show on the road!" Jake replied.

Emil sat on the motorcycle and Jake taught him about how to get the bike started, how to control the speed, how to brake, etc. Not too long later, Emil was able to drive down the block very slowly with Jake next to him and Kiku not too far behind. The twins stayed on the driveway, with Emma biting her nails in fear and Kya trying to comfort her.

"I hope he doesn't get hurt. I really hope he doesn't get hurt," Emma muttered, beginning to pace back and forth.

"Wow, I've never seen you this worried for anyone outside of our family," Kya replied, "Does this mean…?"

"Kya, he's my friend. Of course I'd be worried for him. Don't jump to conclusions."

"I'm not, it's just that you hang out with him a lot, you talk about him a lot, I'm pretty sure you think about him a lot and now you're worrying about him a lot. Admit it Emma, you like him."

Emma's face went hot. "No I don't, shut the hell up!"

"Remember sis, denial is a river in Egypt."

"You're an ass."

A few minutes later Jake ran up to the sisters and exclaimed, "Look out guys, we've got a bonafide biker on our hands!" Emil rolled up to the driveway on the motorcycle, still going slow but looking more confident than he did several minutes prior.

"I wouldn't go that far, but it was still pretty awesome," Emil replied, stopping the bike.

Emma let out a sigh of relief and went up to Emil, going on and on about thanking God that he was alright and to never do something that scary again, please. Kya stood off to the side and smiled knowingly. Despite how tough she acted, Emma had never been very good at hiding her true feelings Little did they know, however, that neither was Emil.

* * *

"Make ramen, they said. No one can fuck up ramen, they said," Tino grumbled to himself, throwing out the burnt noodles. There were paper towels all over the floor soaking up the water that had boiled over the pot and the smell of burning pervaded the kitchen. He threw a personal pizza in the toaster oven, but was so distracted by the mess from the ramen that he forgot to set the timer. Fifteen minutes passed and the kitchen was spotless, and that was when he smelt it. Smoke.

"Oh for the love of-" Tino exclaimed, getting cut off by the beeping of the smoke alarm. Of course, that would be the exact moment that Berwald walked into the house.

"Tino, what the fuck are you doing?" Berwald shouted, dropping his bag and running over to the toaster oven. "Did you turn on the fan, open a window, anything?"

"Um, I kinda… froze."

"No shit, you didn't even turn off the toaster oven. Can you ever be in a kitchen without causing a disaster?"

"Oh, going straight for the 'Tino-can't-cook' jokes, are you? That's low, even for you."

"If you're not going to be helpful, you can leave."

"So you don't even trust me to clean up my own mess?"

"Frankly, no. And you can stop the drama queen routine any time you want."

"Drama queen? You've got a lot of nerve, Ber."

Berwald sighed in exasperation and banged his palms on the counter. "You know what? I'm not putting up with your bullshit anymore. Deal with this yourself." He turned on his heel and walked away.

Tino shouted after him, "That is so like you Ber, always giving up on me. Well fuck you; I can take care of myself!"

Berwald hated crying. He absolutely despised everything about it. Most of all, he hated how quick he was to tears. In a momentary lapse of judgment, he locked himself in the bathroom, having slammed the door in the face of a confused Mathias.

"Did I miss something?" Mathias asked.

"Yes, now go away," Berwald snapped. They both got silent until Mathias put his ear against the door and heard muffled sobs.

"Ber, are you…crying?"

"I said go away!"

"I'm gonna take that as a yes. Lemme guess, Tino got under your skin again?

"You're surprisingly perceptive, Mat. How could you tell?"

"Because there's no way in hell you'd cry like this over anybody else in the world. Also, I heard you two screaming at each other like an old married couple, well more like an old divorced couple, when I was trying to do my homework."

"Shut up."

Silence hovered between the two of them again until Mathias spoke up, "Not to be nosy or anything, but how did you and Tino break up? Something big must've happened for it to still affect you all these years later."

"It's… a long story."

"Then let me in so you don't have to tell it through the door."

"No way."

"C'mon Ber, please? As your friend and housemate, it is my duty to make sure you stop moping and feeling sorry for yourself. I can't help you if I don't know what's going on."

"Promise not to make fun of me?"

"Why would I make fun of you? Believe it or not, I am capable of being serious. Besides, the last thing I would want to do is make this worse for you."

A few seconds passed before Berwald unlocked the door and Mathias walked in without a word. Berwald was sitting on the floor next to the toilet, his glasses sitting on the sink and wad of toilet paper in his hand. His green eyes were surrounded by red and his cheeks stained by tears. Mathias had never seen the Swede look more pitiful in the entire time he'd known him. Berwald braced himself for some sort of joking comment, but Mathias just quietly sat next to him and looked him in the eye.

"You know you can tell me anything. Nothing you say will leave this bathroom," Mathias reassured.

Berwald took a deep breath to steady himself, then began to speak, "As you know, Tino and I met in high school, when I was a junior and him a freshman. We pretty much hit it off right away and around December I finally worked up the nerve to ask him out. This is kind of embarrassing to admit, but we were that really obnoxious couple that was always so cute it was disgusting. We were teenagers in love, could you really blame us? Besides, it was the first real relationship for both of us, so it was a big deal. So six months passed and everything was going great, but that's when the trouble started. The first, and probably biggest, mistake we made was having sex. Now don't get me wrong, there was no guilt after and we both wanted it, but we were way too young and it was too early in our relationship for that kind of thing.

"Things changed after that, but not immediately. It was subtle; to most people we acted exactly the same. However, I noticed that Tino had started to cling to me a little more. He always wanted my attention, he wouldn't leave me alone, and I'm pretty sure his world revolved around me. There was no doubt in my mind that I loved him, but all of the attention was getting stifling. Every time I told him I needed a day or two to myself, he would overreact and would be like 'did I do something wrong, do you not want to be with me anymore, are you breaking up with me,' et cetera, and I'd always have to calm him down. Kid was fucking paranoid. It wore me out.

"Then, when we had been dating for about a year, we went to this Christmas party and that's when all hell broke loose. There was alcohol served there and even though we were both underage in this country, we were used to the laws in Northern Europe, so we thought nothing of it. That's when I learned about Tino's reaction to alcohol. I should've seen it coming due to his ethnicity, but I didn't want to believe some silly little stereotype. Not all of them are true and even the ones that are don't apply to everyone. Turns out that in Tino's case, it was true. The change in his personality was so dramatic; it felt like I was dating Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. All of a sudden, he got angry and started blaming me for stupid little things that I didn't do. He was already paranoid when he was sober, but it increased tenfold when he got drunk. He was suspicious of everyone, even me, and started yelling about God knows what. And I was the one who had to drag him off to another room for he wouldn't embarrass himself further. I was the one who had to stand there and listen when he ranted for a good hour and a half and tried to hit me. I was the one who had to stay awake while he slept so he wouldn't choke on his own vomit. I was the one who had to be there with him in the bathroom the next morning while he threw up again and again. And this wasn't just a one time thing, this happened every time we went to a party with alcohol. Don't you see how that could get exhausting after a while?

"After a few months of this song-and-dance, this routine of ours, I just got fed up. I was sick of taking care of Tino like he was a fucking child. He was obsessive and clingy and I was done with it. We broke up at a graduation party some friends threw. A day that I should have been celebrating, my high school graduation, I will always remember as one of the worst days of my life. There wasn't any alcohol, thank God, so I was able to talk to Tino when he was sober. I knew that it wouldn't be easy breaking up with him, but I couldn't imagine just how hard he would take it. He fucking screamed at me Mat, as loud as he could. He said that I was a jerk and that I was giving up on him and I was just like the others, whatever the hell that meant. I told him he was taking me for granted and I was tired of it, which he interpreted as me being tired of _him_. He screamed and screamed until he lost his voice, then he just sat in a corner and cried. He wouldn't let me get near him, let alone try to touch him, tell him that it was going to be alright. So I did what I always do, I walked away. I still feel bad for doing that, since I walked away letting him believe that I hated him, which was the furthest thing from the truth. I loved him, and I still love him, albeit in a platonic way now. I just wish there was some way to apologize to him without my pride getting in the way."

Mathias stayed quiet, letting the information sink in. He had no idea that Berwald had been carrying so much guilt and regret for all that time. It had explained why his relationship with Tino was still strained and why they were still awkward around each other.

"Ber…," Mathias said quietly, "I didn't know how bad it was, I'm sorry."

Berwald put his head in his hands and started crying again, subconsciously leaning against Mathias. Mathias wrapped his arms around his friend, hugging him and letting him cry. It was all he could do at that moment. A few minutes passed and Mathias was reminded of an old song that his mom made up for when he and Emily were feeling sad. It had been a long time since he heard it and the lyrics were in Danish, but Mathias still remembered it perfectly.

Under his breath, Mathias began to sing, "_It seems some days never cease to rain/and there's a storm cloud hanging above your head/but don't you fret my dear/for soon the sun will shine on you again/and when you're feeling lonely and scared/remember that I'll always be right here/I will dry your tears, love/and hope to see your beautiful smile/because there's not enough time in this world/to dwell on yesterday and could-have-beens/so look towards tomorrow always/and let go of your pain and regret/but if ever you need a place to run to/I'll welcome you with open arms/ remember dear that I love you/ and no matter what, I always will._"

Berwald looked at Mathias in disbelief. He may have not understood most of the song, but he was touched by the gesture. He was pleasantly surprised that Mathias understood, that he didn't say anything when he knew it wasn't his place, and that he'd even tried to cheer Berwald up. Suddenly the Dane didn't seem so selfish and narcissistic anymore.

"Mat…Mathias. Thank you. For everything," Berwald said, lifting his head off of Mathias' shoulder and looking the other in the eye. "I should tell him. Tell him what I told you."

"Do whatever you think is right," Mathias replied. He stood up and offered a hand to Berwald. "Now let's get outta here, alright?" Berwald took Mathias' hand and allowed himself to be pulled up into a tight hug. The two shared a short embrace and left the bathroom side by side.

'_Maybe he's not such a bastard after all_,' Berwald thought. He looked over at his friend and when he saw the other's trademark smile, a traitorous thought entered his head:

'_Mathias…What if I was with you instead?'_

* * *

Lukas was a bit of a clean freak, at least according to Mathias. The junior would rationalize it by saying he just liked a clean living area. This didn't explain why he felt the need to sanitize the same surface three times before moving on to the next.

"I'm pretty sure those germs are as dead as they're gonna get," Tino pointed out, looking up from his homework. Lukas stopped scrubbing the kitchen counter long enough to glare at Tino.

"I just like to be sure. The last thing I want is to get sick because my idiot best friend can't fucking clean up after himself," Lukas retorted.

"There is such a thing as over-sanitation, y'know. Any germs you didn't kill will be super-germs, and then nothing can stop them."

"Look, I don't expect the rest of you to live like I do, or to even understand, I'm just trying to make sure that the areas the five of us share are clean."

"By dumping vinegar water on everything?"

"It's better than dumping toxic chemicals masquerading as cleaning products on everything. God, I feel like I'm the only one around here who gives a single shit about cleanliness."

"You're not. Have you seen Berwald's room? I swear, he is so anal about everything being in the right place and if you move anything by a centimeter, he'll kill you."

"At least it's not just me. But still, it seems that you, Emil and Mathias don't care at all. Especially Mathias, God I can't go into his room without a fucking gasmask anymore. It looks, and smells, like a bunch of barnyard animals had a rave in there or something."

Mathias fake-coughed loudly, staring at Lukas from the stairs. "Excuse me, I'm right here," he pointed out.

Lukas sighed, "Quiet Mathias, the grown-ups are talking."

"Oh you just think you're all sorts of cool today, huh Lukas?" Mathias asked, walking up to his childhood friend, "You realize I'm older than you, right?"

"In age, yes. In maturity, no."

"I see how it is. You wanna mess, huh, huh?" Mathias rammed himself against Lukas, who was attempting to elbow him in the stomach.

"Mat, what the hell are you doing?"

"Tryin' to get you to fight me, what does it look like I'm doing?"

"I'd rather not answer that question."

Tino watched the old friends skirmish poorly and found he could no longer hold in his laughter. The two stared at him when he started cracking up at the top of his lungs.

"You're not helping, Tino," Lukas said.

"Can't…help…it…too…funny," Tino replied between bouts of laughter.

"Since you're so amused by this, why not you be our referee? Make sure we don't legitimately hurt ourselves," Mathias added, earning a whack to the back of the head by Lukas.

Before either Tino or Lukas had a chance to respond, their landlord came down from the attic and into the kitchen. "Why does it smell like salad dressing in here?" Gilbert asked.

"I was trying to get some cleaning done, then these idiots interrupted," Lukas answered, "I use vinegar since it's natural and works just as well, if not better, as store-bought cleaning products."

"Hey, you started it, so you can't say shit about me interrupting!" Mathias replied.

"If you had kept your mouth shut, I could've continued what I was doing." Lukas turned to Gilbert. "Sorry about Mat, he's a bit of a dimwit."

"Dimwit? You haven't used that one since middle school."

"Well I'm bringing it back. It gets tiring calling you a dumbass all the time."

Tino cut in, "So what are you doing here, Gilbert?"

"The awesome me was going out to run some errands, but then I noticed that the kitchen smelt funny, so I had to see what was going on in here," Gilbert said.

Lukas facepalmed, "Can you please stop using the word awesome? It doesn't suit you."

"Holy crap, is that a bird on your shoulder?" Mathias exclaimed before Gilbert could respond to Lukas.

"Why yes it is. This is my old friend Gilbird," Gilbert replied proudly.

"Gilbird? Real creative," Lukas scoffed.

"I like to think so," Gilbert said, oblivious to Lukas' sarcasm, "and it's only fitting that any pet of mine should be named after me. Isn't that right Gilbird?" Gilbird chirped. "Anyway, I think I better get going. That fiberglass isn't going to buy itself. See you later, guys."

The three guys saw off their landlord, then Mathias turned to Lukas and said, "So Luke, how about that fight, huh?"

"You're such a moron, Mat," Lukas replied, slapping Mathias on the arm. The two of them started playfully swatting at each other, the cleaning having been forgotten. For the time being, all was as it should have been.

* * *

One of the next door neighbors of the Nordic House was a Russian family and two of their friends. The middle child of said family, Ivan Braginski, was friends with Tino and they often chatted through the window facing each other's houses (which for Tino was in the kitchen and for Ivan in the living room). One day, Ivan suggested that Tino bring his housemates over to the Russians' house for dinner one weekend. They had spent a week planning, making sure everyone was available on the day they wanted to have it, and the next Saturday, the five guys found themselves on the doorstep of Ivan's house.

"Welcome to our home, everyone!" Ivan greeted, opening the door so the guys could walk in.

"Thanks for having us, Ivan," Tino replied, "you've got a nice place here. Do you have a name for it?"

"Yes, we call it Mother Russia and Friends. I came up with it myself."

"Seriously? At least you get points for originality, ours is just the Nordic House."

"That's not a bad name. As for us, I figured the name worked because this house has been owned by our family for some time, hence the Mother Russia part, and we have two friends of ours renting out rooms, hence the Friends part."

"That makes sense. We just chose ours because each one of us is from one of the Nordic countries."

Mathias cut in, "Speak for yourself Tino, I'm an American."

"Mathias' parents are from Denmark, so it counts," Tino explained, pointing towards Mathias. "As for the rest of us, I'm from Finland, as you know, Berwald is from Sweden, Lukas is from Norway, and Emil is from Iceland."

"That must've been a crazy coincidence. Anyway, come to the kitchen, I must introduce you to my sisters and our friends," Ivan replied, leading them to a table where Ivan's housemates sat. "This is my older sister Katyusha, though everyone calls her Kat, my little sister Natalia, and our friends Elizabeta and Roderich. They're dating, by the way."

Several minutes later, the group of ten were at the dinner table eating and talking about the different professors at the school.

"Does anyone take Victorian Literature?" Elizabeta asked, "I don't know if anyone else teaches it, but I have Professor Bonnefoy and he's a riot. It's a known fact that he'll pay more attention to you if you're attractive, regardless of your gender, and he's hit on me several times. I swear, that guy just does not give a single fuck."

"I took that class last year, though for the life of me I can't remember why," Lukas replied, "Does anyone remember the scandal he got in last year with that girl from Seychelles? Almost got him fired, if I remember correctly."

"Oh yeah, I did hear of that. He dodged a bullet with that one, but he'll still flirt with the students. On the one hand, I don't see how it's a big deal because everyone he hits on is over eighteen, so it's legal. However, it's a bit skeevy because he's still our professor and it's against the law for any teacher to have relations with a student, whether they're of age or not."

"True, which is why he spends most of his time flirting with the Spanish professor, Professor Fernandez," Katyusha added, "Though he's completely oblivious to Professor Bonnefoy's advances. He wouldn't know a sexual innuendo if it hit him over the head. Not to mention that I think he's got something going on with one of the grad students, what was his name again… Lovino Vargas, yeah that was it. He's this grumpy Italian kid who's always hanging around Professor Fernandez and I think now he TA's a few of his classes."

"They're totally doing it, I'm calling it now."

"Liz, I know you have an unhealthy obsession with gay men, but don't jump to conclusions just yet. It's probably just sexual tension."

"If you're gonna be like that, Kat, I'm not inviting you to my Queer as Folk marathon."

"Seriously? How could you do that to me, you know I love our Homosexual Marathon Nights! You can't watch Queer as Folk without me, you just can't."

Berwald turned to Roderich and asked, "Doesn't it bother you how much your girlfriend talks about gay men?"

"Not really, "Roderich answered, "It's purely a lust thing, and it means she likes men. It's no different than straight guys talking about lesbians."

"While we're on the subject, do you, you, and you have boyfriend?" Elizabeta asked, pointing to Tino, Berwald, and Lukas.

"Me? I'm not gay, I have a girlfriend," Lukas retorted.

"Aww, does that poor girl know she's your beard?" Lukas' face turned red and he looked anywhere but at Elizabeta.

Katyusha rolled her eyes, "He's not gay, Liz."

"Are you challenging my gaydar?"

"Yes. I have a foolproof way of telling gay guys from straight guys. The gays ones look me in the eye." Katyusha had noticed that ever since puberty, guys would always focus on her ample chest and not look above her neck, unless they were gay.

"So are the other two gay then?"

"Of course. I don't think either of them stared at my boobs once."

"Some straight guys don't stare at your chest, Kat," Natalia cut in, "Like, oh I dunno, Matt, your boyfriend?"

"He doesn't stare now because he knows it makes me uncomfortable, but he did when we first met. He stopped out of common courtesy."

"Or it's just because he's Canadian. It's a known fact that Canadian boys are less piggish than American boys."

"You're only saying that because you're still bitter at Alfred for leaving you. But you know what? You should go out with someone else, get over him once and for all. I see that cute Lithuanian boy you're always with has his eye on you. And I think you like him too."

Natalia flushed red and stammered. "I do not, where did you get that crazy idea from? It's not like it matters, he's always hanging out with that Polish kid who's totally gay for him anyway."

"So how long have you and Roderich been dating?" Tino asked Elizabeta.

"Almost two years now. We started dating when I was a freshman and he was a sophomore. Our anniversary is on Halloween, if you can believe it," Elizabeta replied with pride, grabbing Roderich's hand under the table.

"That is so cool! I hope Alex and I can say the same thing two years from now. We just got together a couple weeks ago. It's funny because I'm a sophomore and he's a freshman, so it's almost exactly like you and Roderich."

"Oh my God, really? That is so adorable Tino, I can't handle it. Hopefully two years from now, you and him can be as happy as me and Roddy."

"I thought I told you not to call me that in public," Roderich whispered harshly to his girlfriend.

Elizabeta shrugged. "Shit happens. And you gotta admit it's cute." She turned back to Tino. "So Kat told me that you and Ivan used to go out, what was that like?"

"Eh, it was okay I guess. Neither of us were really serious about the relationship and we kinda just messed around for fun. It only lasted a few months before we decided we were better off as friends," Tino replied nonchalantly.

"There's nothing wrong with that, I mean not every relationship has to be serious. Even the light, fun relationships can be fulfilling. It all depends on what you want out of it. I only ask because I can't imagine the two of you together. Actually, I had no idea that Ivan was even into guys, considering he's dating a girl now."

"You didn't know he's bi? Though I always figured he'd end up with a girl. So who is she, what's she like?"

"She's this really sweet German girl, her name's Julia I believe, and the two of them are so good together. She's so funny and no one else I know can make Ivan laugh as hard as she does, not even his sisters. We've actually kinda become friends now and I've been considering inviting her to my next Homosexual Marathon Night with Kat, as long as Ivan doesn't mind."

"I'd say I hope she's as into gay men as you, but then I realized that no one is as into gay men as you are," Roderich said with a smirk. Elizabeta just hit him on the arm and laughed.

"You dork! Doesn't mean I still don't love you."

The group conversed until fifteen minutes before midnight when Berwald suggested that it would be polite for the guys to go back home and let the other five get to bed. They said their goodbyes (which lasted until midnight) and walked back to their house next door.

"I think that went pretty well," Lukas commented, carrying a sleeping Emil on his back.

"Yeah, they were all very nice," Tino added, "I mean, I already knew that Ivan and his sisters were nice, but Roderich and Elizabeta were interesting to talk to as well."

"And I'm definitely gonna have to talk with Ivan again," Mathias interjected, "The poor guy's sleeping with a high-standards chick. Good thing I'm around, spreading my knowledge like herpes, except less annoying and more wanted. I'm like a sexual philanthropist or something." Lukas rolled his eyes and hit Mathias on the back of the head.

"I find it odd that I didn't know until today that Roderich lived here. He never mentioned it," Berwald mused, mostly to himself. He had been friends with Roderich since freshman year and he considered the Austrian one of his closest friends. Well, other than Tino and Mathias.

"We should do that again, though it might be hard to get such a large group together."

Despite Tino's enthusiasm, the others knew that a get-together with the ten of them would probably never happen again, due to conflicting schedules and schoolwork. Regardless, it was still a fun night for them to just forget about their other problems for a few hours and relax. Those types of days were few and far between, so the guys knew to cherish them.

Who knew when they would get another chance to relax like that again?

* * *

Berwald was okay with seeing Tino and Alex together. Really, he was. Alex seemed nice enough and he treated Tino well. Despite that, Berwald couldn't help but worry about his ex-boyfriend. What if Alex couldn't handle him when he was drunk? What if the passion died down and they started to fight? What if Alex broke Tino's heart like Berwald did all those years ago?

"Alex, can I talk to you for a second?" Berwald asked Alex one day when he was at the house. Tino was at work and had allowed Alex to stay at the house for a few hours before he came back for their date.

"Uh sure. What's up?" Alex replied.

"It's about Tino."

"Wait, is this about the alcohol thing? Tino already told me about that. You see, we're going to a Halloween party and he made me promise to keep him away from the alcohol at all costs. I understand."

"Oh. You say that now, but you have idea what you're getting into. I fear for the day you have to see him drunk, because that day will come. He completely changes, like…"

"…Jekyll and Hyde, I know. I'm not an idiot, Berwald."

"I just want to make sure you know the risks…"

"…of dating Tino? Are you trying to scare me away, because it's not working. I love him and I'd do anything for him. Anything. Besides, it's not like it'll be the first time I've ever seen a drunk person. I have more experience with drunks than I care to explain."

"You'll do anything, huh? Will you make me a promise then?"

"What are you getting at?"

"Promise me you'll take care of him, no matter what. Even when he's sober he's not the easiest person to be with, take it from me. Promise not to get too angry at him and to always, always let him know you love him. Promise not to hurt him and, more importantly, not to let him hurt himself. Promise you'll never give up on him, even when he starts to piss you off. Promise not to make the same mistakes I did."

Alex stared at Berwald dumbfounded. He didn't realize that behind Berwald's intimidating glare were feelings he'd harbored for Tino after they broke up. He was about to ask what mistakes Berwald had made to cause him to hang on to those feelings, but he figured it would be better if he waited and let Tino tell him what happened on his own terms.

"I promise."

A few hours later, Tino came by the house to change clothes and somehow the conversation Alex had with Berwald came up. Tino couldn't believe it, couldn't his ex mind his own damn business for once? He made a mental note to himself to confront Berwald about it after his date was over.

That night, after Alex dropped him off with a particularly long good night kiss, Tino went up to Berwald's room and knocked loudly on the door.

"Ber, we need to talk," Tino said bluntly, storming into the Swede's room.

"About what?" Berwald asked, closing the door.

"About what you said to Alex earlier! What the hell is your problem? You had no right to talk to my boyfriend about me behind my back. Who do you think you are, my father? I'm not a fucking damsel in distress, I don't need to be protected, I don't need some man to look after me because I can't take care of myself. I'm not like I was in high school, you'd do good to remember that."

"Tino…"

"And furthermore, what you told him about me when I'm drunk, were you trying to make me seem like a monster? Were you trying to make me seem as unappealing as humanly possible? Did you tell him I was abusive? Did you tell him I was high maintenance? Did you tell him I'm not worth his time?"

"Listen to me…"

"What the hell is your problem, Ber? Because it seems to me that you don't like seeing me with somebody else. That's no excuse to ruin my one shot at being happy. I haven't been this happy with somebody since I was dating you! If anything, I'm happier than I was when we were dating. Would it kill you to let me be happy for once? Why are you doing this, Ber? Why?"

"Because I don't want to see your heart break again!" They both got quiet and stared at each other in awkward silence. "Tino, we can't keep doing this, not if we're living in the same house. I'm glad that you're happy with Alex, believe me. I would hate to see anything happen to disrupt that happiness. All I was trying to do was give Alex a heads up so he wouldn't be surprised by your behaviors like I was. I hope that by doing so, I can make sure he can prevent you from sabotaging your own happiness. And I wasn't trying to make you look bad, that's your own insecurity talking."

Tino turned away from Berwald, trying to stop the tears threatening to leave his eyes, "I… I don't want it to end the way our relationship ended. I don't want him to give up on me like you did."

"I never gave up on you, Tino. I was young and stupid and I didn't have the patience for a complicated relationship like ours. Sure, I got sick of your bullshit, but I never got sick of _you_. Even when I left, I still loved you. I no longer loved you romantically, but that didn't mean I didn't love you at all. I was an asshole to you. I pretended like I understood what was going wrong, but I didn't. I was hurt and confused, and I guess I just took it out on you. I walked away letting you believe that I hated you. For that, I'm sorry. I wish I could take it all back."

"I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I couldn't keep a single goddamn promise. I'm sorry for always getting angry at you over nothing and trying to hurt you. I was a moron, I tried so hard to prevent you from leaving that I wound up pushing you away. What a stupid concept. However, I think it was for the best in the end. I'm with Alex now and I know that one day you'll be with someone perfect for you. When that day comes, just know that I'll be happy for you, just like I hope you can be happy for me."

"I am happy for you, Tino. That's all I've ever wanted for you since we broke up, for you to be happy again."

"Yeah, me too. I want you to be happy too."

Berwald pulled Tino into a hug, tears freely flowing from both of their eyes. They had finally, finally put the past behind them and could both move on with their lives. And neither one of them could've been happier.

* * *

"Who lives in a pineapple undera sea? Spongebob Squarepants! Who's open 'n yellow 'n pour-us as he? Sponglebob Squarepants!" Mathias slurred-sang out of key.

"Shut up Mat, just shut up," Berwald snapped.

Berwald was carrying a completely hammered Mathias from one of the dorm buildings to his car. Mathias had gone to a Halloween party one of the sororities threw and drank a little too much of the "punch". One of the girls there felt bad for him, so she took him to her dorm room where he called Berwald and threw up in the toilet about three times. He used to call Lukas in these situations, but Lukas got sick of being Mathias' chauffer at some ungodly hour in the morning. While Berwald complained about it, he never turned away from Mathias when he needed help and a ride home.

"Ber…Ber…You know you're my best bro, right?"

"I am?"

"Yeah. You might be a stick-in-the-mud mosta the time, and you're kinda a douche, but you're still my best bro and I totally love you. In a bro way, of course."

Berwald couldn't think of a response to that. He put the drunk Dane in the passenger seat of his car and started driving back to the house.

"Did you really mean that?" Berwald asked, "All that stuff about me being your best friend?"

"Why would I lie to you? I'mma very, very, very, very honest person." Mathias responded.

"That's odd, considering how much you complain about me."

"Well nobody's perfect. 'N think about it, I complain about Lukas too and he's also my best bro."

"You have a point there. You're not so bad yourself, Mat."

"Am I your best bro?"

Berwald had to think on that for a moment. "I wouldn't say 'best bro' necessarily, but you're one of my closest friends. That's why I'm up at two in the morning driving your drunk ass home."

"And I'm sure I'll be grateful for that when I'm sober. You're a good bro, bro. We should hang out more."

"If you didn't get this drunk every other weekend, I might consider it. For now, let's get you to bed." Berwald carried Mathias into the house and plopped him on his bed (getting up the stairs was a bit difficult, considering that Mathias wasn't that much lighter than Berwald).

"I'm a pie, in the sky, up so high, I fly~!" Mathias sang.

"The drunken singing will have to stop, though."

Berwald stayed in the room until Mathias fell asleep, which didn't take that long, then left taking one last glance at his friends' peaceful face (even if he was drooling and slightly snoring). Regardless of what logic and common sense told him, he felt it was worth staying awake for.

* * *

**A/N: I'm gonna have a lot of explaining to do, huh?**

**-I apologize for this chapter being overly angsty and that it kinda turned into the 'Berwald and Tino Angst Fest'. I had to address their old relationship at some point for the two of them to move on, but I didn't expect it to dominate pretty much the whole chapter. It's so weird since I don't really write angst most of the time. Don't worry though, there'll be plenty of humor in the future chapters to make up for it.**

**-I bet now you can tell who my character bias is, right? I really, really love Mathias and I fully believe he's a secret sweetie. He's still a bit of a douche, but even douchebags can have hearts of gold. And I'm fully aware that his mom's song didn't rhyme, but I figure it's supposed to rhyme in Danish. Because I don't know Danish, you guys get the crappy 'translation'**

**-I initially wanted Mathias to ask for Tino's point of view on the break-up, but I felt like that would drag this chapter out way longer than it already is. The TL;DR version is that after Tino and Berwald slept together the first time, Tino felt that Berwald was ignoring him, so he clung to him to the point of obnoxiousness. Because of how young he was, he didn't know that he would have such a negative reaction to alcohol, so his drunken actions surprised him as much as they surprised Berwald. He felt that Berwald was keeping him at arm's length after that and that he was getting sick of Tino entirely. When they broke up and Tino said that Berwald was 'just like the others', he meant that yet again, someone gave up on him. That seemed to be a common theme in his life, he was never expected to go anywhere with his life, so no one really bothered with him and found him obnoxious. He never had a lot of self esteem growing up, so the break up with Berwald only exacerbated those feelings.**

**-Lukas is an environmentalist (which you should've been able to guess from his major), so he's very much into the green movement and does all he can to save energy and the planet and whatnot. Hence his refusal to use conventional cleaning products and using vinegar instead. I'm probably wrong about this, but I heard that vinegar and maybe lemon juice is good for cleaning. But please feel free to correct me if I'm way off on that.**

**-Queer as Folk is the most homosexual show that has ever been on TV, ever. I mean this literally because the show is about the lives of a group of gay men (and one lesbian couple) and it's pretty majestic. I figured the fandom's yaoi fan would appreciate the show's gayness. This should be self-explanatory, but I don't own QaF, Showtime does.**

**-Julia is supposed to be Fem!Prussia, which I realize is a little vague, but that's probably because I said she was German (keep in mind that call Gilbert German too, only because Prussia no longer exists)**

**-When Tino was explaining his alcohol problem to Alex, he made a Jekyll and Hyde joke, which is why Alex was able to finish Berwald's sentence about how Tino because practically a different person when drunk. He figured that Alex wouldn't take it literally, but after he found out that Berwald talked to him, he was worried that Alex would take it too seriously and think of him as a monster.**

**-Headcanon dictates that Mathias likes to sing really embarrassing songs when he's drunk. And yes, I know I butchered the Spongebob theme song, I did that on purpose. Because he was drunk, he couldn't remember the lyrics properly, so he just made some noises that kinda sounded right. Also, he gets a bit of a lisp when he's drunk, but I didn't write that out because I hate writing accents (which is also why Berwald speaks normally in this story). It's quite adorable actually. And of course, I don't own Spongebob either. I do, however, own the little ditty that Mathias sings at the end of the scene. **

**Thank you guys for reading and generally being awesome. I could've never imagined a silly little idea I got in July would be so well received. I love all of you and see you for November.**

**-Christy**


	5. November

**A/N: I am so, so, so, so sorry that this took 5ever to put up. First I was really busy and then that bitch Sandy hit and I lost power for almost a week so I couldn't write :( But it's finally up and I'll work really, really hard to get December out soon to make up for my negligence.**

**Also, there's a small GiriTurk scene in this chapter and I know some people aren't big fans of that pairing, so if you wanna skip it, it's the second half of the scene where Tino and Alex are in Alex's dorm room. Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

**November**

There are certain things that a man will do for love, even if he doesn't want to do them. For Lukas, one of those things was agreeing to go on a double date with Maddie, Amelia, and her boyfriend Arthur. Maddie had to beg and plead for Lukas to agree at all, but they both knew that he would cave eventually.

"It's that goddamn kicked-puppy face," he had told Tino the night before the date, "She knows the exact moment to bring out that look and all of a sudden I can't no to her. It's so fucking aggravating."

That look is what landed Lukas in a nearby restaurant sitting next to Maddie and across from a dour looking Brit with abnormally large eyebrows. Maddie and Amelia chatted animatedly from the second they sat down while Lukas and Arthur just sat there and stared at each other awkwardly. '_What do I even say in this situation?_' Lukas asked himself.

"Um…what's your major?" Lukas asked.

"Business," Arthur answered bluntly.

"Mine is Environmental Studies, thank you for asking. You a junior?"

"Yes."

"Will you give me any answers that are more than one word?"

"Maybe."

"Okay, not helpful. Do you have anything you want to ask me?"

"No."

The awkward conversational tennis match was cut short by the waiter arriving at the table and taking the group's orders. When he left, Lukas and Arthur went back to staring at each other. Lukas found it frustrating, how could he have a conversation with someone who refused to talk? He tried to listen into Maddie and Amelia's conversation, but there were talking about shoes (more specifically, Maddie was complaining about high heels hurting her feet and Amelia was giving some advice on how to make them hurt less) so he stopped listening and retreated further into his own mind.

"Dear Odin, kill me now," Lukas muttered under his breath.

Arthur's eyes grew wide and he gasped, "You like mythology too?"

"Actually, yes. Well, I mostly know about Norse mythology since I grew up with it, but I remember reading about Greek mythology in high school and found it pretty fascinating. Why, do you like it?"

"Like it? I love it! Say, how much do you know about Celtic mythology?"

"Uh… next to nothing. How accurate would Monty Python and the Holy Grail be?"

"Other than the fact that both the Holy Grail and the Knights of the Round Table were part of those stories, not at all. Besides, everyone knows that Monty Python is satire."

"Right, forgot about that. But my point still stands, I don't really know much about Celtic mythology."

"Well that's a shame. There's a class here that goes over all different types of mythology. I took it last year and it was really informative. It had Greek, Roman, Norse, Celtic, Egyptian, Asian, you name it, the class had it."

"I actually saw that on the website, but I never had room in my schedule to take on another elective. Maybe I'll take it next year."

"You should. If you like mythology, you'll like the class. In the meantime, is there anything you want to know about Celtic mythology? Chances are I'll be able to answer any question you may have."

Lukas thought for a few seconds. "So… what was the deal with Arthur? The king I mean, not you."

"Of course you'd ask about Arthur first, he is arguably one of the most well known figures of Celtic mythology. Lets see… Arthur was the son of Uther Pendragon, who is clearly very good at coming up with _creative_ names for his kids, and some Cornish lady whose name I can't remember at the moment. He was pretty much raised by Merlin, that wizard dude, however. After Uther died, the Knights of the Round Table had to decide who the heir to the throne would be. So Merlin said that whoever pulls this magic sword out of this stone would become the new king, y'know, instead of voting or have a rational discussion about it or anything. Anyway, many knights tried to pull out the sword and, of course, failed. Arthur was the one who finally pulled it out, though I'm not sure if he did it intentionally or not, and became the new king. He kicked some ass for a while, yadda yadda yadda, until one day he drew his sword against one of his own knights for some reason and the blade was like 'nope' and just broke out of nowhere. Then, when he was walking by this lake, he saw a hand holding up a sword, the sword of course being Excalibur. He kicked some more ass for a while and became betrothed to Guinevere, the daughter of the Scottish King. However, Arthur discovered that she and Lancelot were totally snogging behind his back and he wasn't having that. So Lancelot hightailed it out of there and Arthur followed. Then, when they were in Breton, news reached Arthur that his nephew Modred had taken over Camelot and married Guinevere himself. So Arthur went back to Britain and fought his nephew and the rebels in this epic battle in which most everyone died, including Arthur and Modred. The End."

"I'm going to guess that was the abridged version, right?"

"Of course it was, the real story is so much longer than that. I figured you didn't want to hear all that, so I only told you the important parts. Now tell me, how much do you really know about Norse mythology?"

Lukas took a deep breath and spoke quickly, "All nine worlds are connected by the cosmic tree Yggdrasil, we humans live on Midgard and the gods live in Asgard. Loki only started pranking people because he was bored, Balder got killed by mistletoe, Sif's golden hair was actually made out of gold, Beowulf was such a badass that he was slaying dragons literally until the day he died, Odin gave up an eye and even hung himself on Yggdrasil for nine days to gain wisdom, and despite being insanely powerful and badass, Thor was kind of an idiot who trusted Loki a little too much and Loki, being Loki, took advantage of that and put Thor in even more danger just to save his own ass. And then Ragnarok happened and all the gods died. The end."

"How do you talk so fast?"

"Practice, my friend. And being forced to make your point quickly before your obnoxious best friend interrupts you again."

"Do you know any stories that most people haven't heard of?"

"Yeah. One of my favorites is Skadi and her _super intelligent_ way of choosing a husband, just 'cause it cracks me up every time I hear it. Of course, it wasn't like she had much of a choice in the matter. After the gods killed her father, she went to Asgard to seek compensation. Instead of receiving gold, which was offered to her but she turned it down, she asked for a husband, which the gods agreed to as long as she chose her husband by his feet only. Yeah, his _feet_. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. She made her selection, assuming that she was going to pick Balder, but wound up picking Njord. They couldn't agree on where to live and were generally incompatible with each other, so they lived apart. However, I think Skadi was so self-sufficient that she didn't even need a husband in the first place."

"And why did the gods insist that she choose her husband by his feet?"

"I dunno, to be pricks, I guess? Or to ensure that she didn't get who she wanted?"

The two conversed for a few more minutes before the table got silent. It was then that the guys noticed their girlfriends staring at them. Amelia had a smirk on her face and Maddie was struggling not to laugh.

"What did I tell ya, Artie?" Amelia asked smugly, "I don't wanna say I told you so, but I totally told you so. I'm glad you boys found something to bond over. Maybe now y'all won't complain when this comes up again."

"I never complained," Arthur retorted, "I just simply expressed my disinterest in the situation."

"I dunno man; it sounded like complaining to me."

"You don't have to rub it in my face, Amelia."

"Oh, but I do. You said, and I quote, 'I'm not going to enjoy myself, so why bother?' Really though, was it that bad?"

"Well I… what I meant was…you see…" Arthur sighed in defeat. "No, it wasn't that bad. You're never gonna let me live this down, are you?"

"You bet your ass I won't!"

"Are you gonna be an ass about it too?" Lukas asked Maddie.

"Maybe…" Maddie replied with a laugh.

"This must be how Mat feels every time I prove him wrong, which is pretty often."

"Didn't I tell you it would be fine? I mean, a part of me was afraid that you and Arthur would just stare at each other awkwardly for the rest of forever, but for the most part I had a feeling it would work out. Don't worry so much, Lukey!"

Lukas cringed at the nickname. "Really? You have to call me that now? For the love of everything theoretically holy in this universe, it's so embarrassing."

"So we're gonna do this again, right?" Amelia proclaimed loudly.

"Of course, I'm sure the boys won't mind," Maddie answered

Lukas and Arthur traded glances, both of them thinking the same thing: '_what the hell have I gotten myself into?_'

* * *

Besides the guys at the house, Berwald didn't have many friends. It wasn't because he was outcasted or anything, on the contrary, people didn't have a problem with him, he just had a problem with most people. He found he didn't have much of a life outside of school and work, but he never saw that as a problem. As a result, he only had two friends outside of the house. Eduard was a fellow computer science major and he was very similar to Berwald in many ways. Even though Eduard was a year younger than Berwald, they still shared a handful of classes, which is how they got to talking. Roderich was Eduard's cousin by marriage, so Eduard was the mutual friend to link Roderich to Berwald. The three of them had been friends for three years and because they were all so busy most of the time, they tended to meet up only once a month, twice at most.

"So how come I didn't know until two weeks ago that you lived next door to me?" Berwald asked Roderich. The small group met up for lunch at one of the food halls on campus for that month's meet-up.

"I dunno; guess it never came up in conversation. Now that I think about it, I never gave you my new address," Roderich replied.

"I vaguely remember you saying you were moving, but you're right, I never thought to ask where. Although I could've sworn that I told you two where I lived."

"Huh, how odd. But it's of no concern now. Eduard, you've been looking at your phone obsessively since you got here. If everything alright?"

Eduard looked up from his phone and paused before responding, "Sorry, Raivis is just really worried about this test he's taking and I had to cheer him up. You guys know how bad his anxiety gets over these things."

"Of course, this is the kid who gets anxious when he has to pay for your dates," Roderich pointed out.

"And when he has to look you in the eye when talking to you," Berwald added.

"And when he goes to the store by himself."

"And when he has to talk on the phone."

"And when he's alone in the dorm."

"And when…"

Eduard interrupted, "Okay I get it, would you two just shut up already?"

"Oh sorry Eduard, did we take it too far?" Berwald asked.

"What do you think?"

"To be fair, you do tend to ignore just how severe his reactions are," Roderich butted in, "But I'm not gonna get on your case about it. Just watch out, alright?"

The awkward silence hung thick around the three of them. Berwald eventually said, "So, um…how about those Bears?"

"Really, Berwald? You're using that clichéd ice-breaker?" Eduard inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Did anyone else have anything better to say?"

"Touché. Say, did you do the AI homework?"

"Yeah, had to stay up until two in the morning to do it though. I would've gotten through it faster if that idiot of a housemate Mathias hadn't been blasting classic rock all freaking night. Though now that I think about it, his taste in music isn't really that bad, but he was singing as well, and he can't sing to save his damn life. God, it was so irritating."

"I can relate," Roderich replied, "Much as I love the Braginski's and much as I'm grateful that they took me and Liz in, I have never been in a house so loud that I physically cannot sleep. Not even the dorms are as bad as these three. Almost every night someone's yelling about something or at someone else and it usually ends up with all three of 'em getting involved. Not to mention that they always speak Russian during this so Liz and I can't understand what they're yelling about. Liz has suggested making obnoxiously loud sex noises so that they'll stop and feel awkward, but I keep telling her that it's a ridiculous idea and it'll never work."

"You win, that's way more irritating than Mat being an ass once in a while."

"Would you mind if I just slept on your couch?"

"I wouldn't, but I can't speak for the other guys."

"Why don't you invest in some earplugs?" Eduard asked, "You'll be able to sleep at night and it's cheaper than therapy."

"I'll probably wind up doing that if Liz and I can't get them to stop. While I'm at it, I'll get a pair for Liz as well, since she gets really irritable if she doesn't sleep and I'd like to stop getting bitch slapped all the time," Roderich complained.

"While I would love to stay and chat, I've got a class coming up, so I'll talk to you guys later," Berwald said hurriedly, gathering his stuff and leaving before the other two guys could respond.

"Perfect timing, Raivis just got out of his class and I've got exactly one hour and seventeen minutes to spend with him before my next class," Eduard replied, "See ya later, Rod."

"Remember what I told you," Roderich warned as Eduard walked away. "Guess there's no time like the present to work on that Chopin piece. God, kill me now."

* * *

"My God, Jake is such an asshole sometimes," Emma griped. She and Emil were sitting on his bed passing a bag of dried edamame back and forth and bitching about their housemates.

"What'd he do this time?" Emil asked.

"He forgot his key, again, and had to call me when I was in the middle of class to come home and unlock the door for him. He's such a selfish prick that he doesn't even think about my feelings, he just wants what he wants and he wants it now. I swear to God, I'm going to strangle him one of these days."

"He's almost as bad as the Danish Dipshit."

Emma laughed, "That's a new one."

"It's completely factual. He's a giant dipshit and he happens to be of Danish decent. Ergo, the Danish Dipshit."

"I wish I had clever nicknames like that. Take my brother, for instance, what would I call him? The Chinese… Cheater? Cheapskate? Cretin? Kind-of-a-butt?"

"Kind starts with a K, y'know."

"Thus proving my point! I'm shit at coming up with nicknames!"

"So is Lukas. When we were kids he used to call me Penguin."

"Penguin? That's different."

"We used to only see each other at formal functions where I would be forced to wear a suit, along with the fact that I used to be somewhat bow-legged. So, according to my _genius_ cousin, I looked and walked like a penguin. I also think that he used to think that penguins lived in Iceland, so he used to joke about me being friends with penguins."

"Don't penguins live near the South Pole?"

"Yeah, I tried to tell him that every time he brought it up, but he never listened to me. He still doesn't listen to me."

"Oh boy, what'd he do now?"

"I told him I might have gotten asthma from my old smoking habits and that I should see a doctor. He kept going 'yeah I'll take you', but he would always blow me off for one reason or another. He didn't take me seriously until the other day when he was jumpstarting his car with somebody else and he kept revving his engine while I was behind the car getting something from the trunk, which made a lot of smoke come out his exhaust. It went right in my face and I starting coughing a lung out. Lukas started freaking out and finally took me a doctor who told me that I had asthma. Then Lukas was like 'why didn't you tell me you had asthma, you could've died' and I said 'I did tell you, you just don't fucking listen to me'. He keeps insisting that I never told him, which is a load of bullshit. By the way, this is far from the first time this has happened."

"I completely understand. My brother thinks that just because he's older than me and Kya that only his opinion matters and that we have just have to shut up and deal with us. And he'll never ever admit if one of us is right and he's wrong. He won't listen to us because he still thinks we're children. Ugh, how annoying."

"I can imagine. Say, do you see Kya as an equal since you two are twins?"

"Yeah, though I like to pretend that I have more power because I'm the older twin. But really, we're a team and a lot of the time it's us against our brother when he's being a douche. Though sometimes, she has her jerk moments too. I mean, she told me that she thinks that I _like_ you. Told me outta nowhere."

Emil paused, choosing his words carefully. "Is she wrong?"

"Um… well I… might maybe feel… something for you. I'm sorry, am I babbling?"

"No, it's just that I'm surprised. I'd been meaning to tell you that I… kinda like you for some time now, but I thought you wouldn't feel the same. Silly, huh?"

"Really? And here I was thinking you saw me as a bro!"

They both stared at each other for a few seconds before they broke out into hysterical laughter, knocking the edamame to the floor. They were both certain that they had never laughed so hard in their lives. Emil felt his side cramp up and lost the ability to breathe. Emma laughed herself off the bed and landed right on the bag of edamame.

"Wow, we're such idiots," Emil said between bouts of laughter.

"I know, we are," Emma replied, wiping tears from her eyes, "This is the part where I kiss you, right?"

"I believe so."

Emma climbed back onto the bed and slowly leaned closer to Emil. He heard his heart pounding in his ears as he pressed his lips against Emma's. Despite being a two-second kiss, they both felt lightheaded after the fact. A dorky smile broke out on Emil's face, which made Emma giggle. It was so rare for her to see him so blatantly show his happiness. Seeing him smile made her want to smile, so she gave an uncharacteristic grin.

"Guess it's time to tell your cousin?"

Downstairs Mathias and Lukas were sitting on opposite sides of the couch in the living room, Lukas reading for his homework and Mathias playing around on his phone.

"Alex just asked me if I could cover for him the day before I go home," Mathias announced, "Fuck, this means I won't get to pack until like ten at night."

"You could avoid that problem if you packed the night before," Lukas advised.

"I could, but that would imply that I had the ability to plan ahead, which we both know I don't have. Seriously Lukas, I thought you knew me better than that."

"I knew that would fall on deaf ears."

"Excuse me Lukas? Can I talk to you for a sec?" Emil asked timidly, walking into the room with Emma following behind.

"Yeah sure, what's up?" Lukas said, putting his book down.

"You've met my friend Emma, right? Well the thing is that we're… kinda sorta dating now."

Mathias raised an eyebrow, "How do you kinda sorta date somebody? Either you're dating her or you're not."

"We haven't gone on a date yet, so we can't technically say that we're dating. But we've both said that we liked each other, so that's gotta count for something."

"Good for you Emil, I'm proud of you," Lukas said, giving the young couple a small smile. Mathias resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Don't get me wrong, I am happy for you two, but the schmoopyness of this situation is getting to me. Let me know when you get around to tapping that ass, Emil," Mathias complained. Lukas glared at his friend and kicked him in the shin. Both Emil and Emma turned red and looked away from each other. A moment later, Berwald emerged from the kitchen giving Mathias a disapproving look.

"Do you think before you speak or do you just open your mouth and let whatever come out?" Berwald asked, glaring at Mathias.

The Dane shrugged, "Does it really matter? Besides, you know me and my priorities."

"Or lack thereof."

"Bad priorities are still priorities, if that's what you're implying."

"Mat, I need to explain something to you," Lukas cut in. Making sure Emil had left the room, he leaned in close to Mathias. "Listen, I didn't expect you to know this, or even if you did to have the tact to keep it to yourself, but Emil is asexual. This means that the comment about tapping that ass was rude to him and probably made him feel abnormal for his sexual orientation. Normally I'd chalk your behavior up to your perpetual immaturity, but you crossed the line on this one."

"Oh shit. Shit Lukas, I didn't know. Geez, now I feel like an asshole."

"You are an asshole," Berwald replied.

"You're not helping, Ber."

Lukas was only able to hold in his laughter for five seconds before cracking up, "It's true Mat, you're kind of a ass."

The three of them continued to joke around with each other, the asexual issue all but forgotten at that time. But Mathias made a mental note to not talk about sex in front of Emil, should he stick his foot in his mouth again. Not that it would be surprising, since his foot and his mouth were well acquainted. But then again, what else was new?

* * *

Almost every other day, Tino found himself in Alex's dorm room, sitting on the freshman's bed and talking to him while he did (or at least tried to do) his homework. About a week before their two month anniversary, a thought struck Tino as he was lying on his boyfriend's bed. He was happy. Not just content, not just comfortable, happy. And this time there were no exceptions or buts. Tino knew he came with a lot of baggage, but Alex didn't seem to mind and handled it with grace. '_Today is the day_' he told himself, '_today I tell Alex I love him_'.

"Friggin' Mom, I love her but I swear she's just a pain in my ass sometimes," Alex groaned, hanging up his phone, "Wait, did I say sometimes? I meant most of the time."

"What's the matter?" Tino asked.

"Nothing, it's just Mom being her usual nosy self. She's still trying to convince Dad that I'm gay, because for some strange reason he doesn't believe that I am. I came out to them sophomore year of high school and I think I subconsciously made it very obvious. Besides, it's not like I'm trying to hide it or anything."

"That is kinda weird. But y'know, you could pass for straight if you wanted to. You're not ridiculously flamboyant like some guys I know and you don't have stereotypically gay interests. The fashion sense, maybe, but I know straight guys who dress nice. Then again, that's no excuse for your own dad to not see it."

"Wait… you really think I can pass for straight? If that were the case, I'd get hit on by more girls. Or maybe I have been but haven't noticed. But if I am good at keeping it subtle, which I don't think I am, how did you figure it out?"

"From the first day I saw you at Javalava, I knew. Other than the fact that I have a very fine-tuned gaydar, I could tell by the way you looked at me. No straight guy in his right mind would look at me in the way you did."

"Honestly, I don't know why more people don't see what I see in you. You're very attractive, y'know."

Tino suddenly felt all of his blood rushing to his face and stuttered for a few moments trying to think of a response. "Seriously?"

"Of course! Why would I lie about that kind of thing? And I'm pretty sure I've told you how stunning you are, though if I haven't I should tell you more often."

"S-s-stunning? Okay, that's not fair. While I appreciate you feeding my ego, you don't get to say these things without me having to remind you that you're the most attractive man, if not the most attractive _person_, on this freakin' planet. And before you say anything, you're not allowed to refute this or I'll kick your ass, I swear to God."

Alex laughed and slung an arm around Tino's shoulders. "Fine, if you insist. No use comparing apples and oranges, other than the fact that they're both fruit." He kissed the Finn's hair and Tino's resolve to confess strengthened.

"Alex…" Fucking nerves, always getting in the way. Tino took a deep breath and tried again. "I love you, Alex."

"You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that. I love you too, babe." Alex had told Tino he loved him about two weeks prior and he'd gotten the feeling that Tino loved him back though his actions, but it still made him ridiculously giddy to hear the words straight from Tino himself. If the freshman's smile had been any wider, it would've ripped off of his face.

Alex's enthusiasm was contagious, at least that's how Tino felt. He moved himself closer to Alex and pressed their lips together to prove his point. '_Yes, I love you. I love you more than words can explain._' The younger was quick to return his affections, turning the kiss from innocent to passionate in a matter of ten seconds. It wasn't long before Alex was lying on his back with Tino hovering over him and for their tongues to be introduced to one another. Neither of them had felt this close to each other (or anybody else for that matter) before and both loved it. They were so efficiently distracted that they didn't hear the door open and footsteps around the room.

"Whoa Hera, you promised me dinner but I didn't know there'd be a _show_ to go with it," someone announced loudly. The voice jarred Tino and Alex, bringing them back to reality. Two people had entered the room, the shorter one with shaggy brown hair and a sleepy, almost bored look on his face, and the taller one with a strong build and a look of awe and confusion on his face.

"Oh God, I'm sorry," Alex quickly said, his face turning red, "Tino, this is my roommate Heracles and his friend Sadiq."

"Boyfriend," Heracles corrected.

"Wait, seriously? Did you tell me that?"

"Yes. We've been dating since high school, remember?"

"So this is the mysterious roommate I've been hearing about," Tino said. Tino had only heard about Heracles vaguely as he and Alex never seemed to be in the room at the same time, always just missing each other.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance Tino, though I wish it'd been on less… awkward terms," Heracles replied, offering a hand to Tino, who took the hand and shook it.

"Awkward is an understatement," Sadiq added, "We practically walked in on second base!"

"It wasn't that ba… oh," Alex replied, realizing last second that his hands were dangerously close to Tino's ass when they'd been interrupted. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"I'm just glad it wasn't the other way around. You would've walked in on much worse than what we saw," Heracles said, giving Sadiq a knowing look.

"Is that why we always fuck at my place?" Sadiq asked.

"No, it just always seems to work out that way. And do you have to be so crass about it?"

"Crass? What are you, an old lady? Although…" Sadiq wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist, pushing their hips together. "I'll let it go if you _do_ what I like. You know."

"Later," Heracles hissed, breaking away from Sadiq's grip.

Alex loudly fake-coughed to get the other couple's attention, "Yeah, speaking of awkward…"

"Oops, my bad. Guess we look like hypocrites now," Sadiq said with a shrug.

"Why yes you do. Anyway, what're you guys doing here? Not that I'm kicking you out or anything, I'm just curious."

"I just needed to drop off my books and get a few things. We really didn't mean to stay this long, I apologize," Heracles answered.

"Shit happens Hera, just get some toilet paper and move on," Sadiq replied. Heracles hit him on the arm and gave him a look that seemed to say 'what the hell is wrong with you?'

"That's an odd saying, did you make that one up?" Alex asked.

"Yes I did!"

"He's only been saying it for a week and it's already getting on my nerves," Heracles said, glaring at his boyfriend.

"I can see how," Alex agreed, "So any big plans tonight or what?"

"Not really, we were just gonna hang out in Sadiq's dorm and have a _romantic_ dinner of ramen," Heracles replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice with his last statement.

"Hey, if we turn off all the lights and put flashlights on the table it could be romantic-ish," Sadiq said.

"Not happening."

"Aww, you're no fun."

"That's not what you were saying the other night."

"Only because you weren't being boring as fuck the other night."

"Let's not talk about this here." Heracles turned to Tino and Alex, who both looked confused. "I guess now would be a good time for us to get out of your hair. Sorry again for interrupting."

"Not a problem," Alex lied.

"Yeah, it was nice to finally meet you two," Tino added, trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible. After the other couple left, Tino turned to Alex and asked, "How do those two even…work?"

"I have no fucking idea."

"So you wanna pick up where we left off before we were so rudely interrupted?"

"Of course!"

* * *

"Can you believe we've been friends for nine years already?" Mathias said to Lukas as they were waiting for their plane to take off. They, along with Emil, were on a flight to Los Angeles to see their families for Thanksgiving.

"What conjured up that thought?" Lukas asked.

"It's Thanksgiving tomorrow, so 'tis the season to feel thankful for what we have. Like our friendship. Man, I can't believe it's almost been a whole decade that we've been friends."

"Somehow it feels like it's been longer."

"Do you mean that as in it's like you've known me all your life, or as in you feel like you're in purgatory?"

"The latter."

"Wow, you're an ass. Here I am trying to be friendly and talk about how happy I am to know you and you have to go and be a jerk about it. It's like that time I tried to throw you a surprise party and you threw cake in my face."

Lukas chuckled at the memory. "Oh yeah, that was classic. That was my sixteenth birthday, right?"

"Yeah, you were upset because of something your parents did that I can't remember at the moment and I thought maybe I could cheer you up. You had just come back from talking to them and were so pissed off that you forgot it was your birthday, or something."

"I didn't forget it was my birthday, it was just that I thought you felt that what I was going through wasn't important and that it was more important to have a stupid party. Maybe the cake in the face was a bit much but I had to take my anger out on somebody and you're such an easy target."

"Thanks a lot."

"It's true. Remember when I convinced you that the moon was getting closer to Earth each day and that it would eventually fall on us a la Majora's Mask? You were freaking out for about a week before I told you that I was just messing with you. You are so gullible, it's hilarious."

"Shaddup!" Mathias whacked Lukas on the arm. "In my defense, I was fourteen and we had just been playing Majora's Mask for three hours straight in the dark, at midnight. Because of you, I was called Chicken Little for like two weeks. Asshole."

"You did keep saying 'the moon is falling, the moon is falling' which is very similar to 'the sky is falling, the sky is falling'."

"You suck."

"So do you. Like when a bunch of my family members came from Norway and you told them that I was gay and that I probably had a crush on you. You have no idea how difficult it was to get myself out of that. One of my aunts still thinks I'm gay, no thanks to you."

"You should've seen the look on your face when I first said it, it was fucking priceless. And they clearly must've had their suspicions since it wasn't like I had to work too hard to convince them of it. Dude, you're the gayest straight guy I have ever met."

"I can't tell if that's a complement or an insult."

"Uh… both?"

"Do you put effort into sounding inane or are you really just that stupid?"

"I'm not stupid, I'm awesome! Remember that one time we were playing Manhunt out in the woods with our high school friends? You were on the hiding team and I was on the seeking team. I was wandering around aimlessly and tripped on what I thought was a twig, but then I realized that twigs don't say 'ouch' and then I saw that I'd tripped on your leg. I'd found you literally by accident. Man, good times."

"Maybe for you. I had a bruise on my shin, and my pride, for a week. You weren't even fucking trying!"

"That's what makes it awesome. I was so legit at the game that I didn't have to try to win."

"So essentially you were good at the game by being terrible at the game. Seems to be a running theme with you. Speaking of which, remind me never to play Portal with you again. Watching you flail about like a moron was painful."

"You're implying at bad at Portal, which I'm not. 3D puzzles just confuse the shit outta me."

"Mat, that game is one giant 3D puzzle."

"It wouldn't have been so bad if we didn't play the 2-player mode. You couldn't help me solve the puzzles because you were too busy fighting with the controller. See, gaming with you only works when I'm working the controls and you're sitting on the couch making sure I don't fuck up. We have a system and there's no reason to stray from the system."

"When you're the brawn and I'm the brain, as always. It's actually kinda sad that neither of us can complete a game without the other around. Then again, it was the only way we could actually beat a Final Fantasy game."

"Dude, remember when we spent like a whole day playing the first ten Final Fantasy games in a row? It was exhausting, but we did it. I think you wanted to kill me by the end of it though. By the time we got to five you were kicking me, by seven you were threatening to strangle me, and by ten you were legitimately planning how you were gonna murder me."

"I'm surprised that I didn't go through with it. And now that you bring it up, I can't decide which marathon was more painful, that one or our Legend of Zelda one."

"Oh yeah, that was also a thing we did. That one was fun, I don't know what you're talking about. But if I remember correctly, the Final Fantasy marathon took longer while the Zelda one had more arguments. Maybe we could do something like that again someday with some other series. I was thinking the Metroid series."

"Not on your life. I am not going through that again with you, not unless you want to die."

"You wouldn't actually kill me, you'd just start throwing shit at me and swearing in Norwegian a bunch. It'll be like that time I was doing a journalism assignment about our high school's Model UN and I sat in on one of your meetings. This happened to be one of those days when you were pissed off at the world and you were ranting in Norwegian specifically so no one could understand that you were swearing at them. I still have the recording of that on my computer, by the way."

"Seriously? Don't you normally delete the recordings you make for journalism?"

"I do, but that one was just so funny that I had to keep it. Besides, it makes for great blackmail!"

"You wouldn't dare."

"I would, if I had to. Didn't we have this conversation before though?"

"Probably."

They were only able to keep straight faces on for five seconds before erupting into laughter. Emil turned to glare at them for a moment before turning back to look out the window. Lukas got himself under control first and hit Mathias on the back of the head. Mathias winced and hit him back on the arm.

They'd been friends for nine years, and in those nine years nothing had changed.

* * *

On the last day of November, Mathias woke up early with a great idea. He went around to everyone's room, throwing the door open and exclaiming, "I have the greatest idea ever in the world, come down to the living room!" Twenty minutes later they were all gathered in the living room and after Lukas chewed Mathias out for waking them up so early, Mathias blurted out his idea.

"The holidays are upon us and I was thinking that we and our significant others should do a Secret Santa. So that's eight people, considering that Ber and I are living the single life right now," Mathias explained.

"I think that would be great, on one condition," Lukas replied.

"And that would be…?"

"That we don't call it Secret Santa. Santa is associated with Christianity and I would hate for something that could be really fun to be ruined by religious sentiments."

Mathias facepalmed. "Really, that's your complaint? You take this whole atheism thing a little too seriously. And isn't Santa secular anyway?"

"Mat has a point, Santa really isn't a Christian figure, but at the same time maybe it'd be better if we called it something more general like… Secret Gift-Giving Person," Tino added.

"Somehow that doesn't have the same ring to it," Mathias said.

"Shut up stupid, it works," Lukas retorted.

By noon, the five of them along with Maddie, Alex, and Emma were gathered at the kitchen table. Everyone had agreed to the idea fairly quickly and Mathias wasted no time in setting up guidelines.

"Okay so we all know how this works, right? But we should have a money limit, as none of us are really rolling in it. How about… we must spend at least ten dollars but no more than twenty-five. Is that fair?" Mathias asked, getting nods of approval. "So if we pick the names now, that gives us about two weeks to get something before Winter Break, and we'll exchange the gifts the day before break starts."

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I would like to add that Lukas and I have done this type of thing for the Environmental club before and a rule that they had that I think would work here is that gift cards were always banned. We should put at least a little effort into our gifts, no? I apologize if I'm imposing or anything, I just thought it would be a good idea. Sorry again for interrupting," Maddie added.

"You just apologized three times during that entire spiel. Could you possibly get any more Canadian?"

Lukas glared at Mathias and growled, "Shut the fuck up, Mat."

"Anyway, no gift cards is good rule to have," Mathias replied awkwardly, "Now let me just put all of our names into this hipster hat I swiped from Lukas' room and we can all choose who we get. First pick is who you get, unless you get yourself, then you're free to pick again."

After Mathias put all eight names in the hat, he passed it around the table clockwise and everyone picked a name. Everyone looked around the room awkwardly, trying not to look at the person whose name they pulled from the hat.

"Maybe we should say a little bit about ourselves and what we like so it's easier to know what everyone wants for the gifts," Tino suggested.

"Great idea! And since I was the one who's organizing this whole thing, I'll go first," Mathias butted in, "Let see… I'm into investigative journalism and really old technology. I dunno why, I just think it's cool. I'm a big kid at heart, which Lukas can attest to, and my favorite color is green. Lukas, your turn."

They went around the table, each person telling a little about themselves. Lukas mentioned his love of nature, Maddie said she liked cats, Alex brought up his addiction to coffee (which Lukas high-fived him for) and that he liked learning more about Armenia, Tino admitted his not-so-secret love of death metal, Emil mumbled something about scarves, Emma fangirled about Babies and Jets and other such indie bands, and Berwald said that he enjoyed woodwork. After that, the group dispersed, leaving Mathias and Berwald in the kitchen by themselves while all three couples went off on their own.

"What you said about us living the 'single life'… did you mean to make that sound like a bad thing?" Berwald asked.

"No, what are you talking about? I was just stating a fact, the fact being that neither of us are in a relationship," Mathias replied with a shrug.

"Hm, maybe I was just imagining things. It's been a while since I've been in a relationship. I'm not really sure if I like it or not. How long has it been for you, your last relationship?"

"Like a year ago, I think? I don't really remember. Not like it even fucking matters, none of my relationships lasted very long anyway."

"I don't see you being the monogamous type, no offense."

"None taken. I guess I'm just young and I like fucking. Then again, I can't be young forever, much as I wish I could. Whatever, I don't wanna think about it."

"Fine, I was just curious." With that, Berwald got up and left the kitchen.

Mathias pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket with the name of the person he was to get a gift for. It was just a name scrawled in his own sloppy handwriting, but it made him smile. The wheels in his head were turning and a single thought went through his head.

'_Mark my words, I will get the perfect gift. It'll be fucking awesome._'

* * *

**A/N: I hope that after the angstyness of the last chapter that I brought the humor back with this one. Then again, there's a lot of Mathias and he is never not funny so… yeah. Now for my usual long explanations of things!**

**-So for the double date, I kinda struggled to think of things the Lukas and Arthur would have in common, but then I remembered that they along with Romania (as Mr. Not-Appearing-In-This-Story) are part of the Magic Trio. Now because I made Lukas an atheist, I couldn't very well talk about magic, so I figured mythology was the next best thing. All of the facts I got are from this mythology encyclopedia I borrowed from my brother's fiancée a couple months ago. It's pretty legit.**

**-I don't know why, but for some reason I've just always had it in my head that Berwald, Eduard and Roderich would be bros. I've also had a headcanon that Raivis has an undiagnosed anxiety disorder and poor Eduard has to keep up and calm him down. Roderich is kind of a prick about it and Berwald, as we know, is an awkward turtle so he goes between agreeing with Roderich and agreeing with Eduard**

**-Emil being asexual is another headcanon I've had for a while. I should probably mention that Emma is grey-A so she doesn't completely reject the idea of sex but she could live without it. They're both heteroromantic, if that wasn't completely obvious.**

**-Look guys, Tino is finally happy! That is all.**

**-So all of those video games/ franchises that Mathias and Lukas mentioned in their bromance reminiscing (these two are my BroTP, which is like an OTP but for best friends instead of lovers), I don't own them.**

**-For the Secret Gift-Giving Person thing, that's what we called it in my high school's Anime Club, since it being in school they can't risk offending somebody so we were better off giving it a secular name. And is my DenSu bias showing yet? It totally should by this point (if it didn't already in that one scene last chapter). **

**-And if I haven't mentioned it: yes, Mathias is a man-whore. But he's a man-whore with standards. He's extremely safe to the point where it almost ruins the mood, he's adamant about not sleeping with anyone in a relationship, and he would never take advantage of someone if they weren't in a state to consent. He also stops sleeping around once he gets into a relationship, but when the relationship ends, he goes back to sleeping around.**

**Again, I apologize for being so late with this chapter and honestly I don't like it as much as past chapters, but it makes for a good segway into December with the Secret Gift-Giving Person thing and (hopefully) more lulz in the future. See you soon guys, and I mean it this time!**

**-Christy**


	6. December

**A/N: Oh my God, sorry this is so late, please don't kill me. Real life, lack of motivation (to start), and my own procrastinating habits all interfered with me finishing this chapter. On a lighter note, we're halfway done with the story! Yay! Since we are halfway through, I'd like to give a friendly reminder that my interpretations of the characters may be a bit odd (I vaguely remember mentioning that in the prologue) and that nobody is forced to read this story. There was this great reponse to a complaint of characters not acting like canon in this Homestuck AU I read and I'd like to share it (though I modified it a bit to work with all fandoms):**

**"Good. That's the point. This is an AU fic, meaning that the characters have grown and developed under different circumstances than their canon counterparts. This means that they will behave differently, act differently, react differently, have different motivations, and will generally be different characters. If I just picked up these characters (in this case, every character except for Alex and Emily) from their canon (in this case Hetalia) and plopped them in this setting, that'd be poor writing because I would have failed to take into consideration their different upbringings in this setting and their intrinsic motivations. My interpretation of the characters can still have aspects of their canon personalities (in this case, Mathias being a douche, Lukas being snarky, etc), but if you're looking for the exact same characters that you find elsewhere, you've come to the wrong place."**

**That being said, let's go on to the chapter!**

* * *

**December**

Winter came with a vengeance that year. There wasn't much snow yet, but the temperatures were dropping quickly and before anybody knew it, it went from 40 degrees to about 20 degrees Fahrenheit at its coldest. This was a problem for Mathias, who was born and raised in Southern California. He wasn't too used to temperatures below 60 degrees and he hadn't even seen snow until he was thirteen. He had asked Gilbert about it and even though the landlord sympathized with him ('this cold is so unawesome') he told Mathias that he couldn't afford to raise the heat unless he raised the price of rent. This left the house almost as cold as outside and a grumpy Dane wrapped in his comforter and other blankets on the couch.

"Mat? What are you doing?" Lukas asked upon walking into the room.

"Trying not to freeze to death," Mathias replied sharply.

Lukas smacked Mathias on the back of the head. "Stop being overdramatic. It's not that bad."

"Not that bad? It's cold enough to snow!"

"It's 36 degrees, dipshit. Considering that we're in Colorado, it could be worse. Much, much worse."

"You live near LA too, why aren't you freaking out?"

"You seem to forget that I spent the first eleven years of my life in Norway. I am more than used to snow and the cold. Compared to the winters up there, this is actually pretty tame."

At that moment, Berwald walked in the room with two mugs of steaming coffee, one black and the other a lighter brown color due to being saturated with two teaspoons of sugar. He stood in front of the pile of blankets that was Mathias, holding out the lighter coffee.

"Mat, your coffee," Berwald said.

"I'd love to get it, but that would require me to stick my arm out of my blankets and let the cold in," Mathias mused. Berwald glared at him and shoved the coffee in his face.

"You asked me to bring you coffee and I did. Now take your overly sugared shit before I dump it on your head."

Mathias stuck a hand out from his cocoon and took his mug from Berwald. "I don't know what you're talking about bro, this is perfect amount of sugar. Thanks Ber."

"No problem. Oh Lukas, there's some more coffee in the pot if you want some."

"You don't have to tell me twice," Lukas replied, heading toward the kitchen.

"How long have you been drinking your coffee black?" Mathias asked.

Berwald shrugged, "I dunno, since I started drinking it. No one in my family is very big on putting stuff in our coffee, so I learned to like it black from a young age."

"I can't drink coffee unless it has a lot of sugar in it. Which is weird because I like my beer bitter, but for some reason I don't like the taste of black coffee. I think it's the contrast, y'know? The natural bitterness of the coffee with the sweetness of the sugar. Or maybe I'm just weird."

"It's the latter. Definitely the latter."

"Why are you so mean to me?" Mathias put on a pout that Berwald felt shouldn't have looked as adorable as it did, especially considering Mathias' age (but then again, when had Mathias ever acted his age?). Wait, adorable? Berwald mentally facepalmed at his own thought. He meant pitiful, yes, that facial expression was pitiful.

"Because you're a moron," Lukas answered, returning to the room with his own mug of coffee, also black.

"I wasn't asking you Lukas, I already know why you're mean to me," Mathias retorted.

Lukas opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by Emil, "Lukas, are you free around one today?"

"Uh… I think so, why?" Lukas asked.

"Well I need a ride to Emma's house and I…sort of wanted your help. I want to get her a joint one month anniversary and Christmas present so thought maybe we'd stop at a few shops before you dropped me off."

"Alright, let me just get cleaned up." Lukas left the room and Emil swiftly took his seat.

"Dude, how are you not freezing?" Mathias asked the freshman.

Emil rolled his eyes and sighed, "Because it's not that cold out?"

"What is it with you people? Is everyone immune to the cold but me?"

"It's pretty simple Mat," Berwald cut in, "We're all from Nordic countries. You're not. Then again, even if you came from Denmark like your parents it wouldn't make much of a difference since it's the most temperate out of the five countries."

"I disagree, Lukas tells me that he isn't used to temperatures below 15 degrees. I'm pretty sure it gets colder than that in Denmark," Emil added.

"Fifteen degrees? Are you crazy, it never gets that cold in LA!" Mathias exclaimed.

"Celsius, Mat. He means fifteen degrees Celsius. In Fahrenheit it would be…," Berwald trailed off, typing something into his phone, "Approximately 60 degrees."

"Oh, that makes sense now."

"You are so pathetic. It's not even zero yet. You want to talk freezing, talk to me when it hits negative fifteen," Emil scoffed.

"Good morning guys!" Tino announced happily, walking into the room in a T-shirt and light pajama pants.

"Holy shit, you too?" Mathias asked, "Tino, aren't you cold?"

"Me? No, I'm comfortable. Aren't you warm under all those blankets?"

"I wish, but no. But how aren't you cold right now, it's like nothing degrees outside!"

"He's exaggerating," Berwald explained, "It's not even zero degrees Celsius yet, but it's close. But I have to admit he has a point, you could catch hypothermia like that."

"It's not like I'm going outside like this. Besides, I've been out in much colder than this and I've always been fine," Tino replied.

"Knock on wood."

"Shut up Ber. Anyway, I was thinking of walking to campus today to see Alex instead of having you drive me since it's such a nice day out. A little windy, but still nice."

"Have you lost your damn mind?" Mathias asked, "How is it that I'm over here freezing my ass off and you're completely fine? How can two people have two different reactions to the same temperature? Bro, you're fucking crazy!"

Tino laughed, "I'm not crazy, I'm Finnish. Personally, I love the cold."

"You've definitely lost your damn mind. I should've known. This is what I get for living with a bunch of crazy Scandinavians." Mathias held his blankets tighter around himself and walked out of the room, albeit difficultly.

"Finland and Iceland aren't even Scandin…never mind," Berwald replied.

"I beg to differ. I think Iceland is very much a part of Scandinavia," Emil retorted.

"Why do you say that?"

"Don't even get him started," Lukas interrupted, "He'll talk your ear off about it for hours. Believe me, I've let him do it and it's not pretty."

"Hey, maybe there's a chance that Berwald might want to hear what I have to say on the matter," Emil complained.

"It's quarter to one, didn't you want to find a gift for Emma today?"

"Oh, right. Thanks for reminding me."

Lukas and Emil left the house a few minutes later as Tino sat on the couch with the remainder of the coffee over ice (he figured it was either that or drink it lukewarm).

"I still think you're crazy," Berwald said. He had often commented on Tino's abnormally high tolerance for cold when they were dating.

"I still think you should mind your own fucking business," Tino replied.

Berwald picked up one of the blankets that Mathias had accidently left behind and wrapped it around himself. It was going to be a long winter.

* * *

Mathias was not a morning person. Not in the slightest. So when he was shaken awake by Lukas at 10 on a Saturday morning, it took him a while to register what his friend kept repeating.

"Wake up Mat, come on, wake the fuck up," Lukas said, irritated.

"I'm up, I'm up. What the hell do you want?" Mathias asked, still groggy from having just woken up.

"Remember two days ago when you were going off on another one of your beer and Hot Pockets runs and I asked you to get some coffee grounds? Emil just finished what was left of the coffee we still had and when I went to look for the grounds that you said you would buy, there weren't any. Is there a reason for that?"

Mathias stared at Lukas like he'd grown another head, then it clicked, "Oh yeah, you did ask me to get coffee. Shit! Guess I must've forgotten."

"Why am I not surprised? Anyway, you need to get me some coffee now because I haven't had any this morning and it's your fault. Emil will go with you since he got to the coffee before me, that bastard. You have half an hour to go to the nearest store and get coffee grounds before I flip my shit."

"That implies that you're not already flipping your shit."

"Just get my damn coffee, Mat."

This was how Mathias wound up going on an awkward trip to the grocery store for coffee grounds, the whole time bitching about lost sleep and Emil complaining about having to go out with "this dipshit". After that little adventure, Mathias spent the rest of the morning and afternoon in his friend's garage working on a 'secret project' and fighting with power tools.

"You sure you know what you're doing, Mat?" the friend in question, Alfred, asked.

"Not in the slightest. Won't stop me from trying, though," Mathias replied, not looking up from what he was doing.

"Do you want me to help you? I'm great with my hands."

"That's what she said." They both laughed until Alfred snorted.

"You got me there. But if you need any help, I'd be happy to do so. You've got a hell of a lot of tenacity to be tackling a project this big by yourself. When does it need to be done by?"

"The fifteenth."

"Day before break? Okay, I thought you were crazy before, but this is just downright suicidal. This is not the type of thing you should rush, bro."

"I know, I know. It's just… I want it to be special, y'know?"

"You're not doing this for yourself, are you?"

"No, it's for a good friend of mine."

"I see, is it _that_ kind of friend?"

Mathias blanched and felt his stomach tighten. He let out a particularly loud fake laugh, "No, no, dear God no. We're just friends. That's it."

Alfred raised an eyebrow. "If you say so, dude. Seriously though, is there anything I can help you with?"

"Uh… actually, I think there is something."

"And that would be…?"

"Do you by chance have any blue and yellow spray paint?"

* * *

As the days passed, Emil found himself at the Wang's house more often than his own. He didn't mind, as he got to be around Emma more and he hated his housemates anyway. He was able to talk to everyone in the house except for Yao. Whenever he was hanging out with Emma and the rest, Yao would shoot him looks from time to time, looks that seemed to say 'I'm watching you, so don't fuck up'. In short, Emil was intimidated by him.

One day, Emil was with Emma in her room when they heard a knock on the door and Yao walking in without waiting for Emma to give him permission to do so.

"Dear God," Emma muttered to herself.

"Hello Emil, you're here again," Yao said politely, "I don't know why I'm even surprised. Anyway, I thought I could talk to you for a few minutes."

"Uh… sure. What do you want?" Emil asked, getting anxious.

"I just wanted to discuss your relationship with my sister. You see, family's very important to me and not only do I want to make sure my sisters don't get hurt, but also that they're happy."

"I call bullshit," Emma interrupted, "Since when have you given a flying fuck about my or Kya's happiness?"

Yao glared at Emma and continued talking, "So I believe it's of upmost importance that I make sure that whoever my sisters date live up to my standards. They deserve nothing less than perfection, and that includes their boyfriends."

"Don't listen to him Emil, whether or not you live up to his standards is irrelevant, I'll still date you either way."

"I've been observing you these past few weeks and I've determined that you are almost good enough for my sister."

"Wait a minute, almost?" Emil asked.

"Yes, almost. That is a compliment, as her exes have been far below my standards. Out of all of the boys that Emma has dated, you come the closest to reaching my standards."

"Yeah but…almost? What would I have to do to match your standards?

"See, this is where things get complicated. You are perfect in most ways, you're polite, you're kind, you're intelligent, you treat my sister well, you make her happy, the list goes on and on. But there's one thing that's missing and it's something that you can't change. I would've liked you more if you were Chinese."

"Oh my God Yao, seriously?" Emma exclaimed, "What kind of eugenics bullshit are you trying to pull here? _That's_ the reason he's not 'perfect', because he's not Chinese? Really? Ugh, you are so old fashioned! Besides, you act like we're gonna get married, which is ridiculous since we've only been dating for a month. Love doesn't have a color, or a race, or what have you. I can love whoever the hell I want and I love Emil, regardless of his ethnicity. And if you're not happy for me because of that, well you can just go fuck yourself because I don't care."

Both Yao and Emil looked stunned but for different reasons.

"How dare you say such a thing to me! You should have more respect for me than that," Yao retorted.

"Hold on… you love me?" Emil asked, disbelieving.

"Yao, I won't respect you until you respect me and my choices. Emil, of course I love you, silly! How could I not?" Emma replied to them both.

"…Fine, we'll discuss this later," Yao huffed.

"Good, because within the next five to ten minutes I will be making out with my Icelandic boyfriend and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it unless you want to get hurt." Emma crossed her arms and glared at her brother while Emil felt his face heating up. Once Yao left, Emma moved closer to Emil and leaned on him as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"You mean it, you love me?" Emil asked, still in shock from Emma's confession.

"Why would I lie about that kind of thing?" Emma replied with a shrug.

"So…when were you planning on telling me that you love me? I'm not mad or anything, I just wanted to know."

"I was gonna wait another month or so, but it just kinda came out by accident. Don't think that you're obligated to say it back or anything if you're not ready to."

"Don't worry about it. On a completely unrelated note, I see you're wearing those bracelets I got you." Emil had given Emma a stack of thick elastic-ish bracelets that had names of her favorite bands on them as an early one month anniversary and Christmas present. Emma had nearly tackled him after pulling the bracelets out of their gift bag.

"Uh duh, because they're perfect. And you're perfect."

"Seriously? I know you love me and all, but that's a bit of a stretch, don't you think?"

"No, not really. I believe that everyone has their own definition of perfect, therefore you _are_ perfect, at least to me."

"My God Emma, _ég elska þig_."

Emma gave Emil an odd look. "Come again?"

"That was Icelandic for…" Emil mentally berated himself '_why is it so easy to say in Icelandic but impossible to say in English? Is it because I know she won't understand me so there's not as much emphasis on the words? Or am I just going crazy?_' "I l-love you."

"Oh my God, you do?"

"Yeah, I wasn't going to say anything, but then you confessed so I figured…"

"That's awesome! I feel so much better knowing it's mutual. Now, remember what I told my brother about us making out in the next five to ten minutes?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well it's been five minutes. Do you want to make a liar out of me?"

Emil didn't respond with words. He placed his hand on the side of Emma's face and leaned in to join their lips together. Their kisses were awkward and clumsy at first, which was when Emil learned that Emma had significantly more kissing experience than he did (Emil had been kissed before meeting Emma, but only twice and neither of them were open mouth), but they had become a lot more coordinated with their kisses as time passed. It still wasn't perfect and Emil was still awkward with the movements, but neither of them really cared too much. Emil thought about what Emma had said about people's definition of perfect and he decided mid-kiss that to him, each kiss from her was perfect.

* * *

It was the day before everyone was leaving for Christmas-slash-Winter Break and the holiday spirit in the house was infectious, or nauseating depending on who was asked. Tino had taken the initiative to bring said holiday spirit to the other guys by blasting cheesy Christmas music in the living room, stringing lights and garland everywhere and even attempting to bake cookies (until he almost set the house on fire again and Berwald banned him from the kitchen, that is). It made for a very festive backdrop for the conclusion of Secret Gift-Giving Person.

"Dear God Tino, if I hear Jingle Bells one more time, heads will roll," Lukas griped.

"You're such a party pooper," Mathias replied, "At least try to get into the spirit of Christmas!"

"I am fundamentally against celebrating Christmas since it's directly linked to Christianity, despite the secularization of the holiday over the years. This year, I'm celebrating Festivus."

"Festivus isn't even a real holiday."

"Do I look like I care?"

Tino interjected, "Alright guys, settle down. We should be happy, it's Secret Gift-Giving Person day!"

By the time afternoon rolled around, the five guys along with their partners were gathered around the kitchen table once again, this time with a pile of presents stacked in the middle of the table.

"Merry Christmas-slash-Hanukkah-slash-Kwanza-slash-whatever the fuck you celebrate!" Mathias announced like a game show host, "Let's not waste any time opening gifts, so we'll go cock-wise starting with me!"

"Cock-wise? I believe you mean clockwise," Berwald corrected.

"No, I'm pretty sure I mean cock-wise. Anyway, looks like I have a giant fucking box!" Mathias tore the wrapping paper off the box much like a child would. It was a standard brown cardboard box covered in an abundance of masking tape, which he struggled with for about three minutes before giving up and getting scissors. After cutting the box open (and slightly destroying it in the process), he pulled out a green spray-painted typewriter. "Oh my God, this is so legit! Hm, who is the awesome person who got me this? Maddie, Alex, Emma, and Tino wouldn't know me well enough, Emil wouldn't because he couldn't afford it, Lukas wouldn't because he wouldn't put in the effort, so that leaves you, Ber."

"Seems you do have a brain under all that bravado."

"This is so cool, Ber, thank you! Though where the hell did you find this and for under twenty-five bucks at that?"

"I didn't actually pay for the typewriter itself. I remembered that I have a crazy uncle who collects antique stuff like this that lives three hours from here. I pretty much only paid for gas and the spray paint. Oh, and the other little surprise in the box."

Mathias looked in the box again and sighed at what he found. Wrapped in red tissue paper was a jumbo bag of Swedish Fish.

"You think you're funny, don't you Ber?" Mathias chucked the bag at Berwald's head and missed horribly.

"I had a feeling that's how you'd react. I was at the grocery store the other day and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to mess with you. It also served as a hint if you hadn't figured out it was me yet."

Emil went over to the bag of candy and picked it up, saying, "If no one's going to eat this, I will."

"Knock yourself out," Mathias replied, still glaring at Berwald.

"Guess it's my turn now," Lukas said, finding his gift in the pile. He carefully opened the wrapping paper to reveal a large bottle of hairspray. "Mat, was this you?"

"No, of course not. We both know that I'd be a much bigger dick to you than that."

"Touché. Besides, the handwriting is too neat to be yours…" Lukas studied the wrapping paper with his name written on it in Sharpie and then facepalmed. "…Tino, you bastard."

Tino, who'd already been laughing, laughed even harder at Lukas' statement, "How'd you figure it out?"

"You have the neatest handwriting of anybody in the house. Besides, it's not completely out of the realm of possibility that you swiped this from a certain boyfriend's room."

Alex raised an eyebrow and said, "But I don't even own hairspray."

"He's trying to imply that you're effeminate, or that you have great hair," Tino explained. "And Lukas, I got it at the drug store. But seriously, I do actually have something that I think you'll actually like." Tino went to the kitchen and returned with an envelope with Lukas' name on it. Lukas opened the envelope and found a voucher saying that twenty dollars had been donated in his name to a wildlife charity that he supported.

"Take back what I said Tino, you're not a bastard," Lukas said, still staring at the voucher. If anyone had been looking closely, they would've seen a small smile appear on his face. "Thank you, really. This means a lot to me."

"No problem. By the way, I hope this didn't break the 'no gift card' rule since technically it's a voucher. I pretty much got the hairspray so you'd have something to open."

"I only brought that up because I thought that people should put effort into their gifts," Maddie explained, "The charity you donated to is important to Lukas, so it shows that you did put thought into your gift. With that, I believe it's my turn." Maddie opened her gift to find a plushy of a brown and orange cat and started squealing. "Oh my God, it's so cute!"

"Yes, and if you look at the tag, you'll see the part of the proceeds go to the ASPCA," Emma added.

"Emma, you got this for me? I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to hug you now." Maddie jumped out of her seat and practically knocked over Emma.

"Who apologizes for hugging someone?" Mathias asked, "Oh right, a Canadian."

"Mat, do you like having testicles?" Lukas asked, glaring at him.

Mathias raised his eyebrow at the seemingly random question. "Uh yeah, why?"

"Because if you keep insulting Maddie like that, you won't have them anymore. Understand?" With that, Mathias moved away from Lukas and sat in fetal position to protect his crotch.

"Ber, he's trying to kill me."

"Castration won't kill you, it'll just make you infertile…and make it extremely difficult to get it up, if you even can," Berwald replied.

"Exactly! He's trying to _kill_ me."

"Not exactly. I wouldn't be killing you, per se, I would be killing your livelihood of fucking everything that moves," Lukas mused.

"It's not that simple Lukas, and you know it. If that was the case, I would've fucked you by now."

"That is a terrifying thought."

"Are you guys done being creepy yet?" Tino asked. Mathias and Lukas turned to Tino as the table got quiet. "Great! Let's see what you got, Alex."

Alex's gift was a coffee tumbler painted in red, blue, and an orange-yellow shade. The colors seemed insignificant to everyone else, but Alex recognized them right away as the colors of the Armenian flag. He exclaimed, "Whoa, this is so cool! Is this hand painted?"

"It is, I did it myself," Maddie replied, "I hope I got the colors right."

"You did, it came out really well. I'm taking this to work every day now!"

Tino went next, unwrapping a fairly large book of the complete history of Finnish death metal. "Awesome! Now who could've gotten this… It couldn't have been Ber since he already got a gift for Mat, not Mat either because I get the feeling he's allergic to book stores, not Lukas because, uh, I dunno why, not Maddie or Emma, that leaves Alex or Emil," Tino said, mostly to himself.

"It was me, idiot," Emil interjected.

"Emil, thank you! I knew I told you guys that I liked death metal, but how did you know to get Finnish death metal?"

"Well the obvious reason is that you're Finnish, but also because our rooms are right next to each other so I could hear any music you listened to. I knew that eighty percent of what you listened to was Finnish because I couldn't understand a word of it. Actually, now that I think about it, any lyrics in death metal are near impossible to understand, even in English. And on that note, it's my turn."

Emil had opened a medium-sized box to reveal a pile of thin hipster-y looking scarves and said, "Oh thank you Alex."

"How did you know it was me?" Alex asked.

"Because you and Emma are the only two people in here that know anything about style, and since Emma already gave her gift, it had to be you."

"Um, uh, you're welcome."

"Just out of curiosity, how many scarves are in here?"

"Eleven. They were really cheap, two bucks a scarf. I was gonna get twelve for twenty four dollars, but then I remembered the sales tax and only got eleven."

"My turn," Emma announced. She had received a t-shirt and other little items all dedicated to the band Babies and Jets. "Oh my God, wicked! As for who got this for me, it's either Spiky-Haired-Weirdo or So-Far-In-The-Closet-He's-Hanging-Out-With-Justin-Beiber-In-Narnia, aka Emil's cousin."

"On behalf of all Canadians, I apologize for Justin Beiber," Maddie said.

Ignoring Maddie, Lukas complained, "Why does everyone think I'm gay? I am not gay, for crying out loud! Oh, and I was the one who got you that stuff. You're welcome."

"Guys, the real question is, is he gay or European?" Mathias asked, then began to sing, "_You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports, they play peculiar sports, in shiny shirts and tiny shorts, gay or foreign fella, the answer could take weeks, they both say things like 'ciao bella' while they kiss you both cheeks, gay or European, so many shades of grey, depending on the time of day the French go either way, is he-_"

Lukas slapped his hand over Mathias' mouth. "Shut. The. Fuck. Up. How do you even know that song anyway?"

Mathias moved Lukas' hand to speak. "Emily. It's all Emily's fault." It was true, she had shown him the song saying 'this totally describes Lukas'.

"Yeah, blame your little sister Mat. Way to be the bigger man."

"So anyway, thanks for the stuff Lukas," Emma interrupted, "You're still in denial, though." Lukas just glared at her.

"Oh boy, I wonder who my gift is from," Berwald deadpanned.

"Shut up Ber, just open it," Mathias replied.

Berwald opened a large box and found a hectically put together chest (with no top, he noticed) adorned with the Swedish flag on all sides, even the bottom for some reason, in spray paint. "Mat, this is…"

"Yeah, I'm sorry it kinda sucks, I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I remember you saying something about needing more space in your room to put your crap, so I attempted to build you a chest from scratch because you said you liked woodwork. I meant to put a lid on it, but it was too complicated and I was running out of time, so sorry about that too."

"You… you listened to me. You actually listened to me."

"Huh?"

"We've lived in the same house for four months now, dear God I can't believe it's been this long, and normally when I say something, you don't listen. I know you hear me, but you don't _listen_. This has got to be the first time you've ever paid attention to anything I've said. I can't believe you remembered my comment about having too little space, since that was just an offhand comment I made to Lukas. I just… thanks Mat."

With that, Berwald did something no one expected him to. He leaned over and hugged Mathias, who was confused by the whole situation.

"He's hugging me, this is so weird. It's supposed to be the other way around." Mathias hesitantly hugged Berwald back, having a worried look on his face the entire time. Berwald pulled away several seconds later, his poker face on as usual.

"I don't know what came over me, but don't get used to it."

"Um, okay. And you're welcome."

The awkwardness between the two was so thick, it could be cut with a butter knife. Everyone was silent for a few moments before Tino said, "Well, I think that went well. Don't you guys think that went well?"

"It really did, thanks for putting this together, Mat," Maddie added.

"It's no problem, really. I knew this was one of the best ideas I've ever had. God, I'm awesome!" Mathias replied.

"Don't get a swelled head," Lukas said.

Yup, the Christmas(-Hanukkah-Kwanza-whatever the fuck you celebrate) spirit was definitely alive and well in the Nordic House. So long as Tino stayed out of the kitchen.

* * *

**A/N: Since the AN in the beginning was so long, I'll try not to ramble too much down here.**

**-Yay, stereotypes! There's a joke floating out there in the interwebs about the Finns abnormal tolerance to the cold, which can be seen here: www. jalam dot Org / ulc / temperature. htm (remove the spaces)**

**-Subtlety? What's that? Welp, I guess it's time to introduce my good friend Unresolved Sexual Tension. Readers, this is UST. UST, these are my lovely readers. You guys will definitely become well acquainted in the future *evil laugh***

**-I wasn't trying to be racist with the whole "Yao only dislikes Emil for the fact that he isn't Chinese" thing. That part was actually based on a comment an ex-friend of mine who was Chinese said. She mentioned something about wanting to marry a Chinese guy, which is all well and good, but gave me the impression that she wouldn't be willing to give guys of other ethnicities a chance. Love comes in all forms, and I personally think it would be silly to throw it away because of something like that.**

**-Not much to say about Secret Santa, except that plushy=stuffed animal (I think plushy sounds cuter), a tumbler is not a website, it's like a travel mug like you see at Starbucks all the time, I don't own the song "Gay or European" from Legally Blonde the Musical, the chest Berwald gets is not supposed to be pirate-treasure-holding huge, it's supposed to be the size of a jewelry box (but more manly), and penis jokes will never not be funny.**

**Again, sorry for taking so long, I suck at time management. I also apologize if the quality of these chapters is going down, I'm trying the best that I can to be funny. Then I again, I am my own worst critic so… January up whenever it's up (I'm not making promises anymore), so see you then!**

**-Christy**


	7. January

**A/N:** I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack! I don't have an excuse as to why this is horrifically late, I'm just extremely lazy. Last weekend, I showed this fic to my DenSu friend and we had so many feels that I had to go back to this, and with her on my back, I'm sure to write more quickly. I hope. Well enjoy, and I apologize for the wait.

* * *

**January**

When Winter Break ended, a thick blanket of snow covered the town around DeLouis University. It had gotten to the point that when Mathias and Lukas walked up to the house, the driveway and all three cars were buried under the snow (which led Mathias to think that they had gotten stolen over the break). When they had finally carved out a path to the front door to drop off their luggage, Lukas had convinced… okay, peer pressured Mathias into helping him shovel the snow off the driveway.

"You owe me for this," Mathias complained, throwing a pile of snow haphazardly over his shoulder.

"I don't really care. Someone has to do it and since we got here first, it might as well be us," Lukas replied, not looking up.

After a few more minutes of working in silence, Mathias got bored and lobbed a snowball at the back of Lukas' head.

"What the hell, Mat?" Lukas shouted.

"You gotta admit, this snow is fantastic for packing," Mathias shrugged.

"Well two can play at this game." Lukas smirked and aimed a snowball at Mathias' face, but he ducked and the snowball soared over his head.

"Wow Luke, will your aim ever not be shit?"

"Like you're any more accurate."

"Dude, I hit you in the back of the head."

"That was a lucky shot."

"No it wasn't, that was my perfect aim."

"Bullshit."

Needless to say that shoveling the driveway was forgotten after that. The two friends had engaged in not a snowball fight, but a full-blown snowball war ("this separates the boys from the men," Mathias had said with Lukas retorting with "you're such a fucking moron."). They each had staked out on opposite sides of the yard, hiding in carved-out snow barracks and each with a plethora of snowballs at their disposal. Throughout most of the fight, shots were missed on both sides since neither Mathias nor Lukas had particularly good aim. Between the two, Mathias seemed to have more luck landing shots on Lukas, though not always where he aimed. Mathias' only downfall was his height, even when he crouched behind the snow wall he made for himself; the top of his head was visible. Lukas had taken advantage of this, somehow landing a shot on him.

"Did you actually manage to hit me?" Mathias asked, sticking his head up over the wall.

"Yes, I could see your ridiculous hair from all the way over here," Lukas replied.

"Goddamn my good looks." He reached up and tried to flatten his hair, but the spiky locks seemed to have a mind of its own.

"Egotistical asshole."

Meanwhile, Berwald and Tino were in a taxi heading towards the house. Tino had been talking with Alex on the phone ever since the plane landed and Berwald was trying not to eavesdrop. It made for a fairly awkward half-hour long taxi ride.

"…of course, yeah…I'm almost at the house now, so I'll call you back…love you, bye," Tino said into the phone. After he hung up, the taxi filled with silence. "Uh Ber, are you okay?"

Berwald turned from the window to look at Tino and replied, "I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"God, I never know what's going on in your head. After how many years that we've known each other, I still can't get a good read on you. It wouldn't kill you to be honest, y'know. Remember, what happens in the taxi stays in the taxi. Wait… that came out wrong."

"Tino, please stop talking."

"I'll stop talking if you start talking."

Berwald glared at him. "There is absolutely nothing going on, so shut up."

A few moments of awkward silence later, the taxi dropped the two off in front of the house where Mathias and Lukas were still engaged in their snowball war. After the taxi pulled away, Berwald headed for the house first, that is until a stray snowball meant to hit Lukas hit him dead in the face. Mathias laughed when he saw where his snowball landed.

"Welcome back, Ber! Oh, and Tino," Mathias said, followed by a snort.

Berwald took his glasses off to clean them and glared in Mathias' general direction (even with his blurry, glasses-less vision, he could still recognize the Dane simply by his ridiculous hair). After ridding himself of the snow, he started to head back to the house again until another snowball hit him in the back of the head. He heard familiar laughter behind him and turned to see Tino making another snowball.

"This is some good snow, perfect for packing," Tino commented.

"That's what I said!" Mathias added.

"I'll take our luggage inside," Berwald muttered to himself.

The snowball war resumed, this time with Tino as a new opponent. Tino, as it turns out, had the best aim out of the three of them, landing almost every shot he threw. He even managed to hit Berwald again when he came back outside, despite being about ten feet away. Mathias had tried to hit him as well, but his shot landed two feet in front of him.

"You guys are still at it, huh?" Berwald said, staying on the porch.

"Oh shut up Ber, this is the most fun I've had in ages! Besides, I haven't been in a snowball fight since I was a kid," Tino replied.

Mathias scoffed, "This isn't just a fight Tino, this is war!"

"Really now? If that's the case, both you and Lukas would be dead."

"It's not our fault that you have the unfair advantage of having actually grown up with snow."

"Not to interrupt your _compelling_ conversation, but Emil just texted me saying he'll be here any minute," Lukas cut in.

"Ooh, can we hide and pelt him with snowballs when he arrives, like with Ber except on purpose?" Mathias asked, much like a child would.

"I had a feeling you were gonna say that. Sure why not, it could be funny," Lukas replied with a shrug.

The guys, sans Berwald (who had gone back in the house for coffee) hid behind a bush at the corner of the house making snowballs. About five minutes later, Emil's taxi pulled up to the house. He had only walked about three steps before being ambushed by a good twenty to thirty snowballs.

"Lukas, you're an ass," Emil said, his voice laced with irritation.

Lukas stood up from behind the bush and retorted, "Before you start blaming me, just know that this was Mat's idea."

"Yeah, but you went along with it," Mathias replied, "And I wouldn't have gotten the idea in the first place if you hadn't told me that Emil was coming." He gave a small snort when he realized what he'd said.

"Are you sure you're twenty one?" Emil asked, "Because with the way you act sometimes, I have to wonder."

"I think I would know my own age."

"Actually, with your intelligence level, or lack thereof, I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't."

"Okay, now you're just being a dick."

Before Emil could respond, a snowball flew from behind the bush and hit him right in the face.

"Bull's-eye!" Tino exclaimed, jumping up from behind the bush, "Now are we gonna talk or are we gonna go back to war?"

Mathias smirked, "You took the words right outta my mouth, bro."

* * *

About two hours later, the snowball war had ended. After changing their clothes, which had gotten drenched during the war, the guys had joined Berwald in the living room with blankets and coffee. It was then that they noticed just how cold they were. Even Tino had felt slightly uncomfortable, which was new for him.

"If I get hypothermia, I'm blaming you, Mat," Lukas grumbled.

"Blaming me won't get you better any faster," Mathias replied, burying himself deeper in his giant pile of blankets.

"Maybe if we don't talk about how cold we are, we won't feel as cold," Tino suggested, "So how was everyone's break?"

"Freaking awesome, but that's to be expected of us Køhlers. Dad almost lit the Christmas tree on fire, even though it's fake. I would've been impressed if he actually had, well when the panic of the house burning down was over. We had to have our Christmas dinner at Taco Bell because our oven crapped out on us. Real classy, I know. Then we all got drunk on New Year's Eve, except for Emily, and I'm not sure what happened after that. I know that when we woke up there was food all over the floor and one of Mom's picture frames was completely shattered. According to Emily, Dad made a crappy haiku about beer, Mom found everything hysterical and apparently I wouldn't shut up about you, Ber."

"That explains the nonsensical text message," Berwald replied, "Did she tell you what you said about me?"

"She wasn't sure, she said I kept slurring and interrupting myself. That drunk, bro. She did mention that at some point I attempted to speak Danish and that your name and the word 'kærlighed' appeared in the same sentence, though for the life of me I don't know why they would."

"So in other words, it was a typical Køhler Christmas," Lukas said.

"Exactly! We may not be the classiest people around, but we sure know how to party."

"Well that's…interesting," Tino said awkwardly, "I can't say my break was quite so exciting. Mostly I just caught up on missing sleep."

"Normally I would avoid my family and stay at Mat's house, but this year Mom insisted on us all being together for a 'traditional' Christmas. But because my older brother's a douchebag, my younger brother's a twat, and my mom's the biggest pushover the world has ever seen, it wasn't at all fun for me. I would've much rather spent time with Mat's family and their unconventional way of celebrating Christmas than be stuck with the assholes I'm related to," Lukas ranted.

"Other than the cell phone equivalent of a keyboard smash text from Mat, my break was relaxing," Berwald muttered.

"Do you still have the text? I'd like to see if I can't decipher Mat's drunken rambling."

"Uh sure, knock yourself out." Berwald handed his phone over to Lukas who stared at the text for a few minutes, glaring at the letters as if doing so would make them make sense. It read: _'breee oiii edbrwf ru rekk uio rjsy o lube uoi akoot'. _"I did notice something that I'd been meaning to ask you, Mat. How many times have you typed 'lube' for autocorrect to recognize it?"

Mathias smirked, "More often than you'd think."

"That's a disturbing thought."

"Why? So I like sex, big deal. And I like being prepared for anything. There's nothing wrong with that."

"I never said there was, I just don't wanna think about it. Specifically, about _you_."

"Uh-huh. Correct me if I'm wrong Ber, but it seems that you've thought about me having sex enough to know that you don't wanna think about me having sex."

"What kind of logic is that? That's completely ridiculous. Why on earth would I… never mind."

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much."

"I can feel my IQ dropping by the second."

Just then, the lights flickered and went out, the heat cutting off as well. It turns out that something had short circuited in the basement, leaving the entire house in darkness. A chill entered the room, reminding the five of the sub-zero temperatures outside.

"Does anyone have any flashlights or know where I can find one?" Lukas asked.

"Um… I think I have one in my room, I'm not sure though," Tino replied.

"Do you mind looking for it? In the meantime, I'll check the kitchen. Surely Gilbert has some flashlights around just in case."

Several minutes later, Lukas had found two small flashlights that, according to him, were only to be used sparingly. Tino's search had been fruitless and he was beginning to wonder if he'd even had the flashlight in the first place.

"So now what?" Emil asked.

"We wait, I guess. I don't know what else we could do."

They all sat in silence for a moment before Mathias spoke up, "I just thought of something. What if this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypse and everyone's already turned into zombies except for us and we have to stay in the house to ensure our survival?"

"Spoken like a true journalism major," Lukas scoffed, rolling his eyes, "But in all seriousness, you're an idiot. Zombies don't, and can't, exist."

"Maybe, maybe not. Either way, we should prepare as well as we can so we don't, y'know, die. And if all else fails, we should decide who to eat first."

"Eat? What are you talking about?" Berwald asked.

"Think about it, we're bound to run out of food eventually and one of us is gonna have to be sacrificed for the survival of the other four. I was thinking we eat Emil first, since he's the smallest and wouldn't last very long anyway. Then Tino would be next, then Lukas and then Ber and I would have to fight to the death to determine who becomes the food and who gets to eat. It'll be like the Hunger Games up in this bitch!"

"That has got to be the most idiotic, ludicrous, demented, downright stupidest thing I have ever heard you say in the many years I've known you," Lukas retorted, "And how the hell do you even know about the Hunger Games anyway?"

"You seem to forget that I have a seventeen year old sister, Lukas. She told me the movie was awesome and that even I'd like it, because normally I don't like the girly teenager-y stuff that gets popular. I gotta admit, it was pretty epic, except for the cliffhanger ending that I didn't know was a cliffhanger ending until Emily told me it was a trilogy. But really, out of all of the stupid things I've said in the past ten years, _this_ is the stupidest thing I've ever said? I thought I was being quite strategic."

"You would be, if we were actually in any danger of the zombie apocalypse, which we're not and never will be. Do you know how difficult it would be to reanimate the dead? Even if it were possible, a reanimated person wouldn't, and couldn't, act like they did when they were alive. And I don't think they'd be murdering people to eat their brains because they wouldn't be smart enough to do so. They'd probably be stuck in a vegetative state and would very literally be mentally retarded as the brain could never function as it did prior to death. That being said, reanimation will probably never happen, except on very small animals with like three brain cells."

"Whoa, you don't have to get all science-y on me."

"I'm not getting all 'science-y' on you, I'm using common sense. You should probably get some."

Mathias raised an eyebrow. "Oh I will get some, just not with you 'cuz you're like my brother and that'd be creepy."

Before Lukas had a chance to respond, the front door suddenly swung open, startling the group. Gilbert walked into the living room and looked around with an expression of confusion on his face.

"Why are you guys sitting in the dark?" the landlord asked.

"The power went out about twenty or so minutes ago, we really don't have much of a choice," Berwald answered.

"Hm, must be that old circuit breaker. I'll look at it real quick." He took one of the flashlights off of the table and headed towards the basement. Shortly after, he went back to the living room shaking his head, "This is totally unawesome. As I suspected, the circuit breaker crapped out on me, again. Don't worry though, my son's an electrician, I'll give him a call and try to get this mess straightened out." With that, Gilbert went upstairs and Lukas gave Mathias a smug look.

"See? No zombie apocalypse, no eating each other, nothing to worry about. As usual, you were freaking out over nothing," Lukas said.

"Um…," Mathias wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, knowing that Lukas was right, "Haha, aren't I funny?"

"No, you're not."

"Give him a break, Lukas," Tino cut in, "Sure, the zombie apocalypse theory might have been a bit… farfetched, but he had every right to be scared. We all did. We didn't know what was happening and sometimes our imagination gets the better of us, is that really such a problem?"

"Not necessarily. The problem is that he does this all the freakin' time. Everything's a catastrophe, everything's a disaster, and every time it never is. He's the biggest drama queen I know."

"Oh come on, that's an exaggeration. And stop talking about me like I'm not here," Mathias replied.

"Huh, sounds like someone I know," Berwald said, looking over at Tino.

Tino glared at his ex, "Shuddup, Ber."

Several minutes later, the doorbell rang. Lukas opened the door to a tall, intimidating, stereotypically German-looking man who appeared to be in his early thirties.

"Can I help you?" Lukas asked, thinking '_this can't be Gilbert's son, can it?_'

"Yes, you know my father Gilbert, right? He told me about a faulty circuit breaker that he wanted me to look at," the man said. Lukas stepped aside and let the man into the dark house.

"I'll go get Gilbert, he's probably in the attic."

"No need, I've got a better idea," Mathias replied, then shouted at the top of his lungs, "Yo Gilbert, your kid's here!"

"Was that really necessary?"

"It worked, didn't it?"

True to Mathias' words, they heard Gilbert's loud footsteps as he made his way into the living room. When he saw his son, he broke out into a larger than normal grin.

"Luddy! It's been too long," Gilbert exclaimed, hugging the taller man despite how uncomfortable he looked, "Guys, this is my awesome, though not as awesome as me, son Ludwig. Luddy, these are my tenants."

"Dad, you're still saying 'awesome'?" Ludwig asked, "When will you start acting your age?"

"How's Feliciano?" Gilbert smirked, looking snarkier than usual. Ludwig's face turned bright red and he scowled at his father.

"He's fine and don't change the subject."

"Oh but I will. Have you told him yet, or…?"

"Tell him what? We're friends, that's it."

"You mean to tell me that in two years, neither of you have made a move yet? I find that hard to believe. Anyway, what are you waiting for, an invitation? If you don't snag 'im, someone else will."

"Can I look at the circuit breaker now?"

"Yeah sure, but I'm not letting this go."

"You never do, Dad."

Gilbert handed Ludwig a flashlight and the younger Beilschmidt headed into the basement. Seeing the confused look on the guys' faces, Gilbert said, "He takes after his mother, in both appearance and personality."

Before long, Ludwig had fixed the circuit breaker and the power turned on. He left without a word, presumably still irritated at his father for his snarky comments. The five tenants were relieved, and that's putting it lightly. With the power, and heat, back on, they resumed their earlier conversation of what they did over break. There was still a lot of catching up to do.

* * *

It was seven thirty in the morning one Saturday when Tino was woken up by loud crashing noises outside his window. He looked out into the yard and saw the garbage cans knocked over with food and trash strewn out across the yard. He figured that the wind must have knocked them over and was just about to go back to sleep until he heard a peculiar noise. '_Was that a bark?_' he thought. Quietly, he made his way downstairs, looking out of the kitchen window to get a better view of the yard. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a white blur heading towards the other side of the house. The creature, whatever it was, blended right into the snow, so Tino couldn't get a good look at it. He went out to the porch with some leftover chicken in hand and waited to see if the animal would come to him. A few minutes later, it noticed Tino and cautiously walked towards the porch, more intrigued by the chicken than the human holding said chicken. It was then that Tino realized that it was a small white dog, most likely a stray judging from its lack of collar and how thin it looked.

"C'mere sweetie, I'm not gonna hurt you," Tino said in a soft voice. The dog soon got right next to Tino and looked at the chicken expectantly. He held the food out for the dog, careful to keep his fingers at the very edge of the slice, and the dog greedily snatched it, swallowing it within seconds. "Aw, you must be hungry, poor thing. Let me get some more chicken for you."

The dog barked several times when he was in the kitchen getting more food, but quieted immediately when he came back outside. He had put the new food in a bowl, placing it in front of the hungry animal. Just like with the first piece of chicken, it devoured all the contents of the bowl quickly, not even bothering to chew. The dog looked up at Tino like it expected more food, but he shook his head and sighed.

"I'm sorry, that's all the meat I could find in the fridge. Unless you want frozen Hot Pockets. God, I don't know why Mat eats those things. There's also vegetarian bacon, but it tastes like cardboard, trust me. Then again, with how thin you are, I'm sure anything would be good to you."

Within minutes, Tino had the dog in his lap (thus discovering it was female) and was petting and talking to it. The dog was not only unhealthily thin, but was cold as well from spending so much time in the snow, so Tino's lap was like heaven to her. She had nearly fallen asleep when the back door opened and Lukas joined Tino on the porch.

"Tino, what are you doing out here?" Lukas asked.

"Just spending some time with my new friend," Tino replied, holding the dog up for Lukas to see, "I heard her barking outside of my window this morning. Isn't she cute?"

"She's adorable, however, are you sure she's safe to be around? She's not wearing a collar, so you don't know who her owner is, if she even had one, or if she's had any of her immunizations. She could have rabies for all you know."

"Don't worry Lukas, she's harmless. She's been nothing but sweet to me."

"She may be harmless now, but you have to remember that she's probably a wild animal and can do anything to hurt you without warning."

"I don't think she's wild, just disowned. Look at her, she's practically starving! She's also freezing, probably from the lack of body fat to protect her from the cold. Poor baby."

"I understand you feel sorry for her, I do too, but wouldn't it be better for her to go to a shelter? They could locate her owners, if she had any, make sure she's healthy, and if she is a true stray, find a new home for her."

"I know, it's just… look how attached to me she's become already. And I think it'd be fun to have a dog again. We had a dog back in Finland and I remember that he and I were best friends for much of my childhood. I don't think we should give her up just yet. Speaking of which, I think she needs a name."

"Really? Tino, she's not ours, she never will be ours. Do you really think we can afford a dog? And what'll happen after the school year ends, huh? Think this through for minute."

Tino ignored Lukas. "When she's all curled up like this, she looks like an egg, don't you think? Then again, her face looks like a flower. Like some sort of egg-flower. Hm, egg-flower. Kukkamuna! That's it, that's her name, Kukkamuna."

"Son of a bitch Tino, did you hear a word of what I just said?"

"See, in English egg-flower sounds silly for a name, but in Finnish the phrase is translated to Kukkamuna, which I think sounds a whole lot cuter. And it fits her, right?"

Lukas facepalmed and shook his head. "You're hopeless. Completely and utterly hopeless." With that, he went back inside.

"Don't worry about Lukas," Tino cooed to Kukkamuna, "he's just grumpy because he hasn't had his coffee yet. I still love you though."

Tino kissed his new friend on the top of the head and she made a contented noise, falling sleep in his lap. He knew realistically that he couldn't bring Kukkamuna into the house (he vaguely remembered Gilbert saying no pets were allowed when they all had moved in, but he hadn't paid it any mind until that moment), but he would still consider her his dog. His Kukkamuna.

* * *

There was never a dull moment whenever Emil hung out with his Asian friends, especially when Jake was involved. One weekend, Jake had suggested that the six of them go to the carnival that had come to town, despite it being 24 degrees out, and with enough convincing (aka begging on his knees) everyone had agreed. The carnival was set up in the center of town, which was only a five minute walk from the Wang's house. Upon entering, they were bombarded by flashing lights, the smell of everything being deep-fried, obnoxious music, and shady vendors trying to get them to play their probably rigged carnival games.

Jake and Kya were like little kids with excitement in their eyes, immediately running off to visit all the booths and go on all the rides. Yao had followed them to make sure they didn't do anything stupid and Kiku went off snapping pictures of everything. This left Emma and Emil by themselves, which they were relieved about.

"Ah, alone at last," Emma said, sighing.

"At last? We just got here," Emil replied.

"I know, but Jake was already getting on my nerves. Then again, what else is new?"

The two wandered around for a few minutes, complaining about the crappy mainstream music that was playing, the childish atmosphere and the weather because who the hell has a carnival in the middle of January? They walked until Emma stopped in front of a booth of a water-shooting game with a large multi-colored monkey hanging on display.

"Emil, look at this thing," Emma snorted, "Isn't it so ridiculous-looking?"

"I'd rather not look at it too long; my eyes are starting to burn," Emil said with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"I know right? I wouldn't be surprised if it could glow in the dark too. But hey, that penguin's pretty cute." Emma pointed to a small plushy sitting on a shelf just to the right of the multi-colored monkey.

"That's not a penguin, it's a puffin. Though what a puffin is doing here I don't know."

"A what?"

"It's this bird, kind of looks like a mix between a penguin and a toucan. I'd see them all the time in Iceland. Couldn't get away from them."

"Did you ever have one as a pet or something?"

"No, but I've eaten quite a few. They're considered a delicacy."

Emma looked at her boyfriend with a look of horror. "Seriously?"

"Dead serious."

"What other weird stuff have you eaten, at least things that an American would consider weird?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know."

"Good point. Still, it's pretty cute. I kinda wanna have it for when you're away because the puffin will remind me of Iceland, which in turn would remind me of you."

They spent the next ten minutes playing the game, which turned out to be harder than it seemed at first. Just when they were about to give up, Emil gave it one last shot and won. Just as Emma was grabbing the puffin from Emil's hands, Jake ran up to them, slinging his arms around both their shoulders.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Jake asked excitedly, "Are you having fun yet. Ooh, what'd you win, Emma?" Jake reached out to touch the plushy.

"Touch it and die," Emma snarled, holding the plushy protectively towards her chest.

"You're such a meanie, Emma. Can I at least look at it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I hate you."

Jake pouted. "What about you, Emil? Do you hate me too?"

"No comment," Emil replied.

Kya ran up to the three of them just before Jake had a chance to respond, shouting, "Jake, Jake, come here! There's a pie eating contest starting in like thirty minutes, there's still time to sign up if you want."

"Oh my God, why didn't you tell me earlier?" Jake exclaimed, "I bet I could totally kick everyone's asses all up in this bitch! Let's do this thang, Kya!" With that, he and the younger Wang twin went off towards the large tent in the center of the carnival where the pie eating contest was being held.

Emil sighed, "He is so much like Mathias, it's scary.

"Do you wanna go see them make fools of themselves?" Emma asked.

"That might be amusing. We should get something to eat first."

Two hotdogs and one funnel cake later, they made their way to the large central tent where the pie eating contest was just starting. Jake was one of the contestants while Kya was standing off to the side, just happy to watch. The couple only stayed long enough to watch Jake smash his face into the pie before deciding that it was boring and went off to do something else.

Throughout the day, Jake kept popping up out of nowhere to bother Emma and Emil, then Kya would show up to distract Jake with something exciting that she 'just noticed', like "Jake, we should go on the flippy ride and bet on who will throw up first" or "Bet you can't beat me on that hammer game over there" or "Look, that guy over there is making balloon animals" or "I just kicked a clown in the shin, wanna see the bruise I made?" and so on. After Jake was sufficiently distracted, Kya would look over her shoulder at her twin and wink, as if she was saying 'you're welcome, sis'.

"Man, Jake keeps cockblocking us," Emma griped after the fourth interruption, "That is, if there was any cock to block in the first place."

"Not to mention we're in public," Emil replied.

"Exactly. Anyway, do you wanna go on the Ferris wheel? He can't bother us there."

"Sure."

Within minutes, the two were on the slow moving Ferris wheel, looking out over the rest of the carnival. At some point, Emma was convinced she saw Jake waving up at them and then Kya pulling him by the collar, leading him somewhere else. With the puffin plushy still grasped tightly to her chest (she hadn't let go of it for a second since she got it), she subconsciously reached for Emil's hand, weaving their fingers together. Emil had never held hands with anybody before, so the feeling was new to him, but not unpleasant.

"I wonder if there's gonna be fireworks tonight," Emma said out of the blue, "I love fireworks, they're so pretty. From this height, we'd be able to see them so clearly, which would be pretty awesome. Speaking of which, one time Yao, Kya and I went to Hong Kong with our dad at New Year's and we got to see the fireworks from the top of our hotel. That had to be the most badass firework show I think I'd ever seen in my life, and getting to see it fifty or so feet from the ground made it even better."

"That does sound pretty cool. What made you think about fireworks?" Emil asked.

"I was just thinking how awesome it would be to see fireworks from the top of the Ferris wheel with you. I know it sounds cliché, but I don't really care."

"Cliché or not, I think that would be nice. I wonder though if they'd let us on the Ferris wheel at all during a firework show."

"Oh yeah, I didn't think about that. You have a point, they probably wouldn't. Oh well, it was just a thought."

As it turns out, there were fireworks later that night after the group had left the carnival. Emma and Emil went out on the roof of her house to see the show in full and although it wasn't as impressive as being able to see it from the Ferris wheel (which they weren't allowed to do, they asked the guy running the Ferris wheel before they left), it was still pretty spectacular. The best part of the show was being able to see it together without being bothered by anyone. They kissed just as the last firework of the night went off, which was the perfect way to end their less-than-perfect, but still pretty fun, day. So long as Emma kept the puffin plushy, they would never forget it.

* * *

It was just past midnight one night when Lukas was getting ready for bed and noticed that the light in the kitchen was still on. '_That's odd_', he thought, '_I thought I turned off the light after dinner. Who else could be up?_' He went downstairs to check and sure enough, he saw Berwald sitting at the kitchen table checking his phone every thirty seconds.

"Ber? What are you doing?" Lukas asked, taking a seat directly across from his housemate.

"Waiting for Mat to call me. I figured it was easier to wait up for him than to have him wake me up later in the night. What about you?" Berwald replied.

"I just finished a really annoying project and was just about to go to bed when I saw the light on down here, so I wanted to see who was up. But Ber, are you seriously gonna stay up for two or so hours just so you can pick up Mat's drunken ass from whatever party he's at tonight? You don't have to suffer for his bad choices, y'know."

"True, but ever since you stopped picking him up I've had to do it, since no one else will. And I'd feel really guilty if anything happened to him because he decided to get a ride home from the wrong friend, or if he drove home himself. His safety is worth staying awake for; even if I have to deal with his drunken ramblings and his unexplainable need to break out into song. Last time this happened, he sang something that I think was supposed to be a Justin Beiber song."

"I just don't understand why he doesn't just stay where he is and drive home in the morning."

"Because tonight he said he was going to a club and that he and all his friends put all their car keys in a bag and hid it somewhere because they obviously don't get the concept of a designated driver."

"Did he specifically tell you that, or was that an offhand comment he made?"

"Offhand comment, but he looked at me when he said it, probably because he knew he'd be calling me later for a ride. He didn't have to do that, since he's difficult to drown out anyway."

"Difficult, yes, but not impossible. It takes a lot of practice, and being around him more than you'd want to, but you can drown him out. I've become quite good at it myself."

"I'm not surprised, you've known him longer."

"It's a good skill to learn, especially if you're gonna continue picking him up when he's drunk. There's a reason why I stopped doing it, y'know. I can handle Mat when he's sober, but he's ten times worse when he's drunk, as you've no doubt discovered. The bastard would always give me a pounding headache and since I'd be tired I'd get irritated a lot easier than I usually do. The last time I picked him up I swear to the universe I was _this close_ to crashing the car just to make him shut the fuck up."

"It's irritating, yes, but I can handle it. I did date Tino, remember? If I can deal with _him_ drunk, then I should certainly be able to deal with Mat drunk. Compared to what I've seen, this is nothing."

"Good point, I didn't think about that. Then again…" Lukas leaned in and raised an eyebrow. "You seem to care a lot about Mat, much more than the rest of us do, you practically memorize everything he says, inane as it may be, and then the parallel you drew between him and Tino just now… is there something you're not telling me, Ber?"

"Whoa, you are reading way too much into this. I'm just a friend helping out another friend."

"Friend, uh-huh. I've been his best friend since middle school and I can tell that you care much more than any other friend of his would, including me."

"Bullshit, you don't care about anyone or anything."

"Not exactly, I have a short list of people who I care about and Mat is on there. That doesn't mean that I feel obligated to stay up until what-the-fuck o'clock in the morning waiting for him to call and ask for a ride because he's completely hammered. This is just ridiculous."

"If you're so opposed to what I'm doing, you can go to bed at any time. I won't stop you."

"I was going to, but then I got distracted and dammit I'm gonna regret this tomorrow. And so will you, consider you'll be up later than me."

"I assure you I won't."

"Whatever you say, Ber. I still think you're being stupid, but that's just me. I'm going to bed now, goodnight, if you ever actually get any sleep tonight." Lukas left the kitchen, leaving Berwald to sit alone routinely checking his phone like he did before Lukas arrived. About an hour later, he was just about to fall asleep on the table when Mathias called. He quickly woke himself up and grabbed his car keys. _The things we do for friendship._

* * *

**A/N:** Notes time!

-I'm sorry for not describing the snowball war better; I suck balls at action scenes. I tried, but it just sounded awkward.

-"Kærlighed" means "love" in Danish. Make of that what you will.

-I've had the line "It'll be like the Hunger Games up in this bitch" in my head since I first got the idea. Also I thought Mathias freaking out over the zombie apocalypse would be hilarious. When Lukas says that the zombies would be mentally retarded, I meant no offense by it. Being mentally retarded is an actual mental disorder, which is what he was referring to.

-The reason why I made Ludwig Gilbert's son and not his brother is because Ludwig wouldn't look like he normally does if he was near Gilbert's age in this fic. Also I think that Gilbert practically raised Ludwig in canon, so yeah. Headcanon dictates that Feliciano is significantly younger than Ludwig, so that means he's also in grad school like Lovino (I haven't forgotten about that).

-If you're wondering why I named the dog Kukkamuna instead of Hantamago, it's because I saw a headcanon on the tumblr littleaphheadcanons that Kukkamuna was the Finnish variant of her canon name, and I believe the Tino would give her a Finnish name instead of a Japanese name. And Tino will never not be bad at naming things, ever.

-Don't ask me why I made there be a carnival in January, because I don't really know. I just thought that Emil and Emma on a Ferris wheel would be adorable. I don't know.

-Geez, this is just the chapter where Lukas lectures at everyone (except Emil, ironically enough). SMH at Berwald though.

There is some really awesome stuff I have planned for February and March, so hopefully that'll drive me to get them done faster than this chapter. See you next time, hopefully not three months from now!

-Christy


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